At long last I have come upon the holy grail, that which has been kept beyond my reach for well over a decade and a half--a copy of the "Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York" by Robert A. Caro. It's the story of the greatest and worst thing ever to happen to New York City since the dutch buying Manhattan Island for 20 bucks--engineer and builder Robert Moses. I should be spitting venom about corruption in a week!
mofo
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
the storm is dead...long live the storm
now the bastard thinks the controversy really will end up lying in how quickly the he stalks the mofo online. actually it was just pure happenstance that i was checking the mail when i noticed that the mofo had puked out another one so the bastard thought he'd chime in.on the on hand we could go down the conspiracy filled liberal media road to get to where we are. we could say that this is the results of a liberal cabal because next year is an election year and fuh fuh fuh. we could say that the clinton lewisky thing was the right's revenge for the clarence thomas/robert bork thing. and this is revenge for th eclinton lewisky thing. the event that the clarence thomas thing was revenge by the left for something that nixon did. hogwash. that sort of shit is for oliver stone types on both sides of the aisle or perhaps stat freaks. the kinds of stat freaks like say fantasy baseball nuts. "well you see karl rove has a life time batting average of .032 an i am going to pit my plus 5 holy avenger against your hand of scooter libby, etc. etc." nonsense.
it's like this for the bastard. clinton got what he got because absolute power corrupts abosolutely. clinton did the deed and he lied under oath. he roda the impeachment process out at the expense of the reputation of the highest office in the land. and what we see right now with libbey and rove is similar. IF in a court of law, it is proven that rove and libbey outed what is shaping up to be an almost unimportant agent of the CIA (and if you can get me links to things plame did FOR this nation that were important to national security, put em up and i'll retract my comments about plame) they should pay the price for it. justice is not about political parties, it's about being able to right wrongs and restore harmony. i don't think this will stop until january 2006 though. the folks on the both sides of the road play hardball and this is why the tone in washington is so shitty. this is why the best of our nation don't want to run for office. i know i'll never do it. i'm a bomb thrower, it'd never work out hunny. it's not you baby, it's me sorry. either way, the bastard doesn't get all upons on the justice system. the bastard get all up on fabricators of things and if it turns out that things were fabricated, then the bastard will come back to revisit this the waste of tax payer cash that it may be.
—the bastard
"The Yukon Gold, the fine columbian..." and other assorted comments
So things just went up a notch in the good department down here in the 'cane ravaged wastelands of purgatory, a Starbucks has opend up. Now the sun shines a little brighter and the air smells a little sweeter.
A quick update on the hurricane situation down here, it turns out that most of Florida below Lake Okeechobee, (that's the big hole in the middle of the state you see on the map) lost power after the fierceness of Wilma, (cause she was fierce like this dragon), but except for sporadic locations here in my fair town, we all had power and minimal damamge. I guess even the sun shines on this old dog's ass once and a while.
One last thing, and I'm sure this will start a firestorm from the right side of the blog, but, I hope if the charges in which Karl Rove and Scooter Libby (Scooter, nice nick-name, ya sissy) are being accused of are true, and they find there way into the Oval Office that this congress, which was so quick to lynch Bill Clinton for lying about a blow job (which techinically, if you read the transcript, he never actually lied about), will be ready and able to impeach this President who seems to keep surronding himslef with absolute moronic power mongers who are self righteous enough to defend their bosses war by outing a CIA agent. No wonder our intelligence community can't seem to do anything right, they are too busy looking over their shoulders for the president's flunkies to out them like they were Sherly Swoopes.
The only thing is that Sheryl said she wasn't always gay, I mean she was married and has an 8-year old kid, but now she is gay, apparently. Sorry hon' you're not gay, you're bisexual (if that lifestyle choice even really exists), you don't get the dental plan.
mofo
A quick update on the hurricane situation down here, it turns out that most of Florida below Lake Okeechobee, (that's the big hole in the middle of the state you see on the map) lost power after the fierceness of Wilma, (cause she was fierce like this dragon), but except for sporadic locations here in my fair town, we all had power and minimal damamge. I guess even the sun shines on this old dog's ass once and a while.
One last thing, and I'm sure this will start a firestorm from the right side of the blog, but, I hope if the charges in which Karl Rove and Scooter Libby (Scooter, nice nick-name, ya sissy) are being accused of are true, and they find there way into the Oval Office that this congress, which was so quick to lynch Bill Clinton for lying about a blow job (which techinically, if you read the transcript, he never actually lied about), will be ready and able to impeach this President who seems to keep surronding himslef with absolute moronic power mongers who are self righteous enough to defend their bosses war by outing a CIA agent. No wonder our intelligence community can't seem to do anything right, they are too busy looking over their shoulders for the president's flunkies to out them like they were Sherly Swoopes.
The only thing is that Sheryl said she wasn't always gay, I mean she was married and has an 8-year old kid, but now she is gay, apparently. Sorry hon' you're not gay, you're bisexual (if that lifestyle choice even really exists), you don't get the dental plan.
mofo
Friday, October 28, 2005
headline of the year
the bastard seems to pull from the headlines from time to time when he's strapped for material or he doesn't want to discuss his foul state of affairs. i came across this story this morning on NY1 and then the times had the best headline ever:
Good Smell Perplexes New Yorkers
By KAREEM FAHIM
Published: October 28, 2005
An unseen, sweet-smelling cloud drifted through parts of Manhattan last night. Arturo Padilla walked through it and declared that it was awesome.
"It's like maple syrup. With Eggos. Or pancakes," he said. "It's pleasant."
The odor had followed Mr. Padilla and his friend along their walk in Lower Manhattan, from a dormitory on Fulton Street, to Pace University on Spruce Street, and back down again, to where they stood now, near a Dunkin' Donuts. Maybe it was from there, he said. But it wasn't.
Mr. Padilla was not alone. Reports of the syrupy cloud poured in from across Manhattan after 9 p.m. Some feared that it was something sinister.
There were so many calls that the city's Office of Emergency Management coordinated efforts with the Police and Fire Departments, the Coast Guard and the City Department of Environmental Protection to look into it.
By 11 p. m., the search had turned up nothing harmful, according to tests of the air. Reports continued to come in from as far north as 112th Street shortly before midnight. In Lower Manhattan, where the smell had begun to fade, it was back, stronger than before, by 1 a.m.
"We are continuing to sample the air throughout the affected area to make sure there's nothing hazardous," said Jarrod Bernstein, an emergency management spokesman. "What the actual cause of the smell is, we really don't know."
There were conflicting accounts as to its nature. A police officer who had thrown out her French vanilla coffee earlier compared it to that. Two diplomats from the Netherlands disagreed, politely. Rieneke Buisman said it smelled like roasted peanuts. Her friend Joris Geeven said it reminded him of a Dutch cake called peperkoek, though he could not describe that smell.
now the bastard has a theory here. either weapons grade anthrax smells curiously like maple syrup or the terrorists are using the international house of pancakes (damn multicultural pancakes) as a new weapon against us. we should mount a counter offensive by using waffle house's all over to stop them.
—the bastard
Good Smell Perplexes New Yorkers
By KAREEM FAHIM
Published: October 28, 2005
An unseen, sweet-smelling cloud drifted through parts of Manhattan last night. Arturo Padilla walked through it and declared that it was awesome.
"It's like maple syrup. With Eggos. Or pancakes," he said. "It's pleasant."
The odor had followed Mr. Padilla and his friend along their walk in Lower Manhattan, from a dormitory on Fulton Street, to Pace University on Spruce Street, and back down again, to where they stood now, near a Dunkin' Donuts. Maybe it was from there, he said. But it wasn't.
Mr. Padilla was not alone. Reports of the syrupy cloud poured in from across Manhattan after 9 p.m. Some feared that it was something sinister.
There were so many calls that the city's Office of Emergency Management coordinated efforts with the Police and Fire Departments, the Coast Guard and the City Department of Environmental Protection to look into it.
By 11 p. m., the search had turned up nothing harmful, according to tests of the air. Reports continued to come in from as far north as 112th Street shortly before midnight. In Lower Manhattan, where the smell had begun to fade, it was back, stronger than before, by 1 a.m.
"We are continuing to sample the air throughout the affected area to make sure there's nothing hazardous," said Jarrod Bernstein, an emergency management spokesman. "What the actual cause of the smell is, we really don't know."
There were conflicting accounts as to its nature. A police officer who had thrown out her French vanilla coffee earlier compared it to that. Two diplomats from the Netherlands disagreed, politely. Rieneke Buisman said it smelled like roasted peanuts. Her friend Joris Geeven said it reminded him of a Dutch cake called peperkoek, though he could not describe that smell.
now the bastard has a theory here. either weapons grade anthrax smells curiously like maple syrup or the terrorists are using the international house of pancakes (damn multicultural pancakes) as a new weapon against us. we should mount a counter offensive by using waffle house's all over to stop them.
—the bastard
Thursday, October 27, 2005
this just in...
the bastard has seen that harriet miers has withdrawn from her supreme court nomination. apparently, her dog ate her homework or something. the bastard could've called this one. good day to you
—the bastard
—the bastard
the bastard loves hangups
you realy gotta love japan sometimes. i know i do, which is silly because the bastard has never been. it is however, on the bastard's list and zsolte assures me that it totally rocks. one day the bastard will go or as the nice lady keeps chiding me, i will be reincarnated a 14 year old japanese school girl. that couldn't be further from the truth. the bastard is a big fan of travel but travel isn't a fan of him as he seems to come back cranky every time. i don't get it. either way, i enjoy what i have seen media wise and literature wise. as i mentioned in an earlier post, i had just finished reading idoru and it takes place over there. now i didn't get the book because it took place in tokyo, i got it because i'm reading alot of william gibson these days. reading passes the time on the bastard's commute. 
anyway, this photo comes to us from the office. you see, the collector brought this toy over to me to show me it's humorous qualities. why the collector you ask? well, at the front door (for lack of a better term) of every cube here, we have little squares with our names on them so that they can put a name with the number and everyone doesn't come rolling into the bastard's cube saying, "hey mr. 10n-9 how's it going? how about those white sox last night huh? working hard or hardly working? (cue guy smiley teeth right.....about....now)" instead they can say, "hey bastard, you need to do things for me so that i don't have to. now do it jerkface". it's as simple as that. anyway, every time someone on the floor departs our magical little kingdom here on park, the collector takes their name tags and tapes them up onto her cube, to keep it real. anyway, the collector bought this power rangers toy for her niece and then speculated on why this toy (that turns into a dog) has it's tail between the robots legs looking like...well you get the picture (literally). in short (which this blog never seems to be) what i really find funny is the japanese sense of humor or perhaps it's their ability to sneak sex into even children's toys. or maybe we just have dirty minds. but then again we don't exactly have vending machines on the street with underwear in them. but i suppose everyone has their hangups
—the bastard
...on 14:59
...or on public meltdowns
no, the bastard really feels for cindy sheehan because her son died. that's a damn tragedy. it seems to have cost her her son, and her marriage. but her vitriol for the administration has run it's course and it seems that even folks on the left are starting to distance themselves from her. and the bastard isn't here to comment on it. i have my opinions on her very public meltdown and i don't want to bring that today. what i did want to bring up was something far more lowbrow than that. reuters brought up this little item with reference to cindy and other protestors that will be this week commemorating the 2000th death in iraq. the quote rolls like this:
"I'm going to go to Washington, D.C. and I'm going to give a speech at the White House, and after I do, I'm going to tie myself to the fence and refuse to leave until they agree to bring our troops home," Sheehan said in a telephone interview last week as the milestone approached.
now here's where the bastard goes lowbrow. the night before i came across this little gem the simpsons rerun in which the owners of the isotopes (the springfield team) wants to move the team to new mexico and homer chains himself to the scoreboard and they make a spectacle of his hunger strike. next day, this comes over the wire and now every time i read about cindy sheehan i think of hungry hungry homer. is that wrong? the bastard thinks so. the bastard also doesn't care shiteyes.
—the bastard
no, the bastard really feels for cindy sheehan because her son died. that's a damn tragedy. it seems to have cost her her son, and her marriage. but her vitriol for the administration has run it's course and it seems that even folks on the left are starting to distance themselves from her. and the bastard isn't here to comment on it. i have my opinions on her very public meltdown and i don't want to bring that today. what i did want to bring up was something far more lowbrow than that. reuters brought up this little item with reference to cindy and other protestors that will be this week commemorating the 2000th death in iraq. the quote rolls like this:"I'm going to go to Washington, D.C. and I'm going to give a speech at the White House, and after I do, I'm going to tie myself to the fence and refuse to leave until they agree to bring our troops home," Sheehan said in a telephone interview last week as the milestone approached.
now here's where the bastard goes lowbrow. the night before i came across this little gem the simpsons rerun in which the owners of the isotopes (the springfield team) wants to move the team to new mexico and homer chains himself to the scoreboard and they make a spectacle of his hunger strike. next day, this comes over the wire and now every time i read about cindy sheehan i think of hungry hungry homer. is that wrong? the bastard thinks so. the bastard also doesn't care shiteyes.—the bastard
batman is a scientist
the bastard didn't get out into the theatres this summer to give patronage to everyone's favorite comic book vigilante so he went out and bought that grief on dvd. let me tell you that that scheiß totally rocked. it is by far the best batman of the bunch and by far the best comic book portrayal yet. this sort of theatre makes the bastard realize that some of the only decent stories these days are coming out of the comic book world. i used to be all about the independant film back in the days but, the problem with it is, it has been infiltrated by big names. it, like punk rock has become marketable and as a result comes in a nice neat little package. i'm sure every now and again something small and great comes out of the indy world but, i'm starting to latch onto the whole trey parker/matt stone theory that indy films are all about gay cowboys eating pudding. well not really but "bodies, rest, and motion made me want to claw my eyes out. wait, the bastard is getting off message. batman is a scientist.
i can't wait until studios figure out how they are going to make frank miller's dark knight play out for the fight of the century. the bastard is SUCH a geek—the bastard
...on the future
...or on how it is unwritten (i always loved that clash shirt that tom the chicken neck had)
i just finished reading william gibson's idoru yesterday on the train and this actually comes on the heels of a conversation i had with the k at lunchtime about firefly. you see, the k doesn't have cable. cable doesn't do what the k wants and cable cost too much money to him so instead he has netflix which subsequently puts him about 3 to 6 months behind the phenomena we know as television (teacher, mother, secret lover). anyway, he is in the midst of watching firefly on dvd at the moment and was talking about how much he liked it.
for those of you that aren't familiar firefly was created by joss whedon (of buffy fame), and is about a bunch of folks who were on the wrong side of an intergalactic civil war and now live hand to mouth smuggling. they have also essentially become unsavory people. on top of it, it plays out like a western in space. the thing i like about it and idoru and other non rodenberry-esque futures is that it doesn't end well. and i like that. in idoru our hero was experimented on in his youth and it makes him particularly adept at sifting through information and all of his flashbacks are of how his data sifting for a muck racking tv show helped push a woman who was having an affair with a celebrity kill herself. now he's working for a famous rockstar's security team to help them find out why he's trying to marry an artificial intelligence. in other gibson books, drugs are rampant, overcrowding is everywhere and if you are off the grid, you can't interact. i love his notion of virtual reality and i find it quaint that of all of the things he predicted in his body of work (he was the first guy to coin the term cyberspace) he never predicted wireless.
anyway, there is nothing particularly bad about gibson's future but it has a sam fulleresque quality to it. the bastard likes sam. he likes to rub humanity's nose in it's own crap. there are no heroes or villians. just people in a fuller work. now there ARE heroes in a gibson novel but they are flawed, like we all are and i like that. and it makes sense. the star trek future couldn't work out because we are flawed, and petty and bigots and whether we do or not, we like to smoke. or something else like that. that why in alien, 400 years in the future humanity still smokes. that's why in transmetropolitan spider jerusalem smokes and does enough heroin to choke a herd of horses because it highlights our own shitty nature.
besides, if the future became perfect, we'd screw it up anyway
—the bastard
i just finished reading william gibson's idoru yesterday on the train and this actually comes on the heels of a conversation i had with the k at lunchtime about firefly. you see, the k doesn't have cable. cable doesn't do what the k wants and cable cost too much money to him so instead he has netflix which subsequently puts him about 3 to 6 months behind the phenomena we know as television (teacher, mother, secret lover). anyway, he is in the midst of watching firefly on dvd at the moment and was talking about how much he liked it. 
for those of you that aren't familiar firefly was created by joss whedon (of buffy fame), and is about a bunch of folks who were on the wrong side of an intergalactic civil war and now live hand to mouth smuggling. they have also essentially become unsavory people. on top of it, it plays out like a western in space. the thing i like about it and idoru and other non rodenberry-esque futures is that it doesn't end well. and i like that. in idoru our hero was experimented on in his youth and it makes him particularly adept at sifting through information and all of his flashbacks are of how his data sifting for a muck racking tv show helped push a woman who was having an affair with a celebrity kill herself. now he's working for a famous rockstar's security team to help them find out why he's trying to marry an artificial intelligence. in other gibson books, drugs are rampant, overcrowding is everywhere and if you are off the grid, you can't interact. i love his notion of virtual reality and i find it quaint that of all of the things he predicted in his body of work (he was the first guy to coin the term cyberspace) he never predicted wireless.anyway, there is nothing particularly bad about gibson's future but it has a sam fulleresque quality to it. the bastard likes sam. he likes to rub humanity's nose in it's own crap. there are no heroes or villians. just people in a fuller work. now there ARE heroes in a gibson novel but they are flawed, like we all are and i like that. and it makes sense. the star trek future couldn't work out because we are flawed, and petty and bigots and whether we do or not, we like to smoke. or something else like that. that why in alien, 400 years in the future humanity still smokes. that's why in transmetropolitan spider jerusalem smokes and does enough heroin to choke a herd of horses because it highlights our own shitty nature.
besides, if the future became perfect, we'd screw it up anyway
—the bastard
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
the bastard makes an important discovery
...or on making the most of it
so the bastard has come to a conclusion. i woke up this morning and i limp out of bed wondering if it's still raining outside. i step into the living room and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is on. the conclusion is this. remember that scene in which jim carrey is sitting on those steps in montauk talking to himself and kate winslet about how this is the memory of the first time he saw her and how it will soon be gone? well, it's not a good way to start the day.
—the bastard
so the bastard has come to a conclusion. i woke up this morning and i limp out of bed wondering if it's still raining outside. i step into the living room and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is on. the conclusion is this. remember that scene in which jim carrey is sitting on those steps in montauk talking to himself and kate winslet about how this is the memory of the first time he saw her and how it will soon be gone? well, it's not a good way to start the day.—the bastard
Monday, October 24, 2005
They Call Me Action Jake Gyllenhall!
Just an update, now that the Bastard (aka Bastard-The Motley Crue song)cares so much about the weather. Wilma's still pulling out here, but man, she kind of got bitchy at the end.
The "meteorologists" down here were talking all sorts of smack about how the incoming cold front would meet Wilma at the OK Corrall somewhere out in the Gulf of Mexico and tear it to shreds making it weak as it approached the coast of Southwest Purgatory. Instead, Wilma beefed up to 125 mph and pounded the shit out of Naples and Everglades City, about 50-75 miles south of my own self. But Wilma was so massive in size that the home-piece got hit up to, but not where I would have expected. The first half of the stormwent by without much incident, tropical storm force winds with an occasional gust, no big deal. Then the backside came in and wallopped us. The cold front that was supposed to weaken Wilma with its wind sheer did the opposite, strengthening it as it went over us and spitting 90 mph winds at us. It seems the cold front waas allowing cold air into the hurricane causing it to become a Nor'easter type storm on the back end. The tempature dropped 25 degrees within a 2 hour stretch, it was almost like "The Day After Tommorrow" without the bad acting or contrived drama. The acting was replaced by awestruck weasthermen on the radio commenting on how little they really know about anything let alone the weather and the contrived drama replaced with, well, real drama as Wilma bitch slapped the west side of my house for two hours. Fuckers. But all is well here, now I have to see how Nemo and his crew made out in the old Nautilaus.
I'll do my best to get some pics on the blog for ya' I took a few during the storm and will go out disaster-spotting directly. First I'm waiting on a call from Dennis Quaid. Does anyone halve snowshoes?
mofo
The "meteorologists" down here were talking all sorts of smack about how the incoming cold front would meet Wilma at the OK Corrall somewhere out in the Gulf of Mexico and tear it to shreds making it weak as it approached the coast of Southwest Purgatory. Instead, Wilma beefed up to 125 mph and pounded the shit out of Naples and Everglades City, about 50-75 miles south of my own self. But Wilma was so massive in size that the home-piece got hit up to, but not where I would have expected. The first half of the stormwent by without much incident, tropical storm force winds with an occasional gust, no big deal. Then the backside came in and wallopped us. The cold front that was supposed to weaken Wilma with its wind sheer did the opposite, strengthening it as it went over us and spitting 90 mph winds at us. It seems the cold front waas allowing cold air into the hurricane causing it to become a Nor'easter type storm on the back end. The tempature dropped 25 degrees within a 2 hour stretch, it was almost like "The Day After Tommorrow" without the bad acting or contrived drama. The acting was replaced by awestruck weasthermen on the radio commenting on how little they really know about anything let alone the weather and the contrived drama replaced with, well, real drama as Wilma bitch slapped the west side of my house for two hours. Fuckers. But all is well here, now I have to see how Nemo and his crew made out in the old Nautilaus.
I'll do my best to get some pics on the blog for ya' I took a few during the storm and will go out disaster-spotting directly. First I'm waiting on a call from Dennis Quaid. Does anyone halve snowshoes?mofo
...on manufacturing and balkanization
it's usually at this time that the dubble plat gets to wondering, "what the hell does that bastard do all day that he's posting shit all damn day?" well i'm here to say that the bastard is actually at the cusp of shipping the issue but we're waiting for our esteemed production monkey to come up with a road map, so i'm stuck waiting to move 40 pages, so back off!!! anyway, the bastard was taking a peek at gothamist this morning and came across this little item from new york magazine on the neighborhood that they call "nolita" and how real estate prices have rendered it "over".
first off, this kind of neighborhood balkanization is sheer horsecrap (talk of prices later). this neighborhood was a section of north of little italy (hence no-li-ta) that had trendy people and trendy shopping and i'm sure that sarah jessica baba yaga had something to do with. but, i've been watching this kind of balkanization for years. let's give a section of neighborhood a new name so that we can make it seem separate and subsequently "better" that the greater whole to serve a segment of cultural elitists. i grew up in queens vilage. QV covers a vast piece of land between hollis (west), cambria heights (south), nassau county (east), and bayside (north). when you get further north, the houses get larger and the quality of life is better than when you are closer to cambria heights. shortly before the bastard took flight to forest hills in search of a quicker commute that was beneficial to both himself and the nice lady they started calling that part of QV "queens village north". it didn't make it seem any better but i guess the folks up there didn't want to associate with the rabble further downtown. i'm sure this happens to boost prices. hell, they have even taken to referring to the south bronx as "SoBro" presumably to raise prices there. i don't hold out much hope for it being that it is the south bronx and all but you keep fighting the good fight there sobro. yeesh. that said, now i'm actually going to read the article on the offset chance that the damn roadmap shows up.
—the bastard
first off, this kind of neighborhood balkanization is sheer horsecrap (talk of prices later). this neighborhood was a section of north of little italy (hence no-li-ta) that had trendy people and trendy shopping and i'm sure that sarah jessica baba yaga had something to do with. but, i've been watching this kind of balkanization for years. let's give a section of neighborhood a new name so that we can make it seem separate and subsequently "better" that the greater whole to serve a segment of cultural elitists. i grew up in queens vilage. QV covers a vast piece of land between hollis (west), cambria heights (south), nassau county (east), and bayside (north). when you get further north, the houses get larger and the quality of life is better than when you are closer to cambria heights. shortly before the bastard took flight to forest hills in search of a quicker commute that was beneficial to both himself and the nice lady they started calling that part of QV "queens village north". it didn't make it seem any better but i guess the folks up there didn't want to associate with the rabble further downtown. i'm sure this happens to boost prices. hell, they have even taken to referring to the south bronx as "SoBro" presumably to raise prices there. i don't hold out much hope for it being that it is the south bronx and all but you keep fighting the good fight there sobro. yeesh. that said, now i'm actually going to read the article on the offset chance that the damn roadmap shows up.
—the bastard
the bastard suddenly cares about the weather
you know, it's a good thing that the mofo is living in florida during these blustery times, i wouldn't have been paying nearly as much attention to the weather as i have been of late. well that's not completely true. the bastard still has family down there so i would still be concerned for their safety. hell, they're family. i will be equally concerned when california finally breaks off from the mainland and lex luthor's evil real estate scam comes to fruition because i will have to kayak to visit the cousins in california. i only hope frikkin otis can get me a good rate on one of those kevlar models. anyway the bastard was just thinking in passing if during this storm, if captain nemo's daughter bumps her head and falls unconscious through the length of the storm, will she have fever dreams of the mofo riding a bike that turns into a broom telling her that her will get her little dog toto? hmmmmmm. i think the bastard needs to ratchet down the drugs.—the bastard
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Ya' See, this is how the pros do business
Yeah, Wilma's coming. She looks like she'll be running a bit south of the old joint but I should see some tropical winds and a boatload of rain, but as worrisome the prospect is of the power going out, and maybe not working for a few days (which means not getting paid) I'm not fretting. You see, down here in Purgatory we know how to work these things. Evacuations, the Keys broke north days ago, and Naples (about 50 miles south) took a powder as well. Plus those evacuations were predicated on the proximity to the gulf, not a factor for me, I live 15 feet above sea level, it would take a cat 5 to make me shit my pants about flooding. Water and food, done Wednesday morn, along with gas, got a full tank in the work van and a enough in the ole' Celica to get me to Jacksonville if I really needed to, but I won't. Plywood is up from last year on Nemo's 19 year old abode, and I live in a duplex built after '92's Hurricane Andrew, so it can withstand 160 mph winds, and this bitch Wilma isn't getting there by a damned sight.
Big Bad Jeb rocked the mic today to let everyone know that he's got blackhawk helicopters ready for any rescue manuevers needed, and that he already has stations at the ready with food and water. He also assured the state that there is millions of gas sitting at various ports in the state so there shouldn't be widespread panic after the storm. Jeb finished by adding that this was not counting what FEMA had to offer, then when he was done he broke it down en espanol ese--no interpreter needed, holmes, and that was impressive. See, we rock hurricanes bilingually down here motherfucker. Here in purgatory we basically have hurricanes locked down to a science. The country could take a lesson.
Years from now when Jeb Bush retires from public life I'd like to be his agent. I would advise him to write a book on how to run a state before, during and after a hurricane because if nothing else, he does this better than anyone. Odelay Jeb!
I'll see you on the other side.
mofo
Big Bad Jeb rocked the mic today to let everyone know that he's got blackhawk helicopters ready for any rescue manuevers needed, and that he already has stations at the ready with food and water. He also assured the state that there is millions of gas sitting at various ports in the state so there shouldn't be widespread panic after the storm. Jeb finished by adding that this was not counting what FEMA had to offer, then when he was done he broke it down en espanol ese--no interpreter needed, holmes, and that was impressive. See, we rock hurricanes bilingually down here motherfucker. Here in purgatory we basically have hurricanes locked down to a science. The country could take a lesson.
Years from now when Jeb Bush retires from public life I'd like to be his agent. I would advise him to write a book on how to run a state before, during and after a hurricane because if nothing else, he does this better than anyone. Odelay Jeb!
I'll see you on the other side.
mofo
well, batten them down again, we'll teach those hatches
...or on how the mofo has reached an impass
well the bastard has weathered his own little hurricane last evening as the boy and the elder's children had created their own shitstorm in the rent's house. it almost gives credence to the premise of monster's inc. (yeah i was watching it this morning. it's probably the funniest thing billy crystal has been attached to since when harry met sally) of harnessing children's screams in order to power their monster cities. anyway, after the kid storm blew over, the bastard had moved on to other ponderings. like, "jesus christ! the silver fox slats his buttered bread because he doesn't like salted butter. what kind of crazy shit is that?" and , hey, that's a real great cheesefry". but most importantly, "mother of twelve bastards, there's another hurricane and it's heading right towards the mofo...again. the world hasn't seen this many hurricanes since 1933 and the mofo gets the ringside for the largest season on record. some guys have all the luck. i guess we'll see this again in 10 years when the atlantic is this warm and active again. board the winders, shiteyes.
—the bastard
well the bastard has weathered his own little hurricane last evening as the boy and the elder's children had created their own shitstorm in the rent's house. it almost gives credence to the premise of monster's inc. (yeah i was watching it this morning. it's probably the funniest thing billy crystal has been attached to since when harry met sally) of harnessing children's screams in order to power their monster cities. anyway, after the kid storm blew over, the bastard had moved on to other ponderings. like, "jesus christ! the silver fox slats his buttered bread because he doesn't like salted butter. what kind of crazy shit is that?" and , hey, that's a real great cheesefry". but most importantly, "mother of twelve bastards, there's another hurricane and it's heading right towards the mofo...again. the world hasn't seen this many hurricanes since 1933 and the mofo gets the ringside for the largest season on record. some guys have all the luck. i guess we'll see this again in 10 years when the atlantic is this warm and active again. board the winders, shiteyes.—the bastard
Friday, October 21, 2005
the bastard embraces the evil that is nick cave
now the bastard had first discovered nick cave and the bad seeds when he started working at the magazine. i was still shellshock from losing my previous job and when you leave a job after 6 or so years, leaving it or in the bastards case, being canned feels like a funeral except it isn't commonly accepted practice to mourn your loss, it's a job, not your mom you lost. but the bastard calls bullshit on that. and i never really mourned it and it has worked to the bastard's detriment. i have been so angry for so long and i'm only letting go of that shit in recent days. the bastard feels like a weight is lifting off of him.i had become attracted to the bad seed when the cursed black shirt at the office (why is he cursed? his cube is cursed. all others that have worked that cube have been hated) gave me a piece of nick. he was gloriously evil. he reminded me of my other self loathing device which is tom waits. nothing makes you want to guzzle a bottle of gin and cry about lost love like tom. but nick is just mean he makes you want to wallow in it and wallow in it and then set it free on the world to wreak havoc on your ass. just listen to "straight to you" and you'll know what i mean. just listen to "tupelo" then you can harness and release your grief into the night.
the mad russian gave me a copy of the boatman's call and on it is my new favorite song, "people ain't no good" cause they ain't. now writhe in it shiteyes.
—the bastard
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
dub plat brings the bastard to post more on selling out
...or searching for a ground, with my good eye closed
well the conversation still moves forward on the pros and cons of selling out and then the elder brother chimes in with a poignant point:
not to hit on a favorite band subject especially since it was beaten to death a few blogs ago, but some feel that metallica sold out when they got a major label, some after the video, some after the black album, some after they cut their hair, etc.
you know, it's funny that you bring up metallica. the bastard was watching this documentary about the seattle scene last night and there was this kid outside of a pearl jam/soundgarden show (also there was a sound check version of "searching with my good eye closed" going on). and he's standing there in all of his teenage glory with braids and earplugs shoved up his nose saying, "i'm pissed. i'm pissed because i heard 'em first".
the bastard gets the feeling that love for a band is not about the band's skills so much as it is about how the band makes you feel about yourself at the time and selling out is not about the band making a buck, it's about how you no longer feel that way or the band no longer makes you feel that way. i'm kind of like that about audioslave. i love the way cornell sings. but now that the bastard is no longer a child, i have put childish things away and i can't be in love with his sound anymore. it doesn't make me feel like something new is washing over me for the first time. i felt it last night listening to him singing "searching..." in that haunting monotone he does and for a minute, i was new again. i had my hair in the wind again. i was more innocent.
then the scene changed, the music stopped and there the bastard was on the floor..doing situps...less innocent than he was than when he was a kid. a little bit older and with more important things on his mind than he had when he was younger. damn, i wish i had that feeling back again. stupid old man, is it to the sky?
—the bastard
well the conversation still moves forward on the pros and cons of selling out and then the elder brother chimes in with a poignant point:
not to hit on a favorite band subject especially since it was beaten to death a few blogs ago, but some feel that metallica sold out when they got a major label, some after the video, some after the black album, some after they cut their hair, etc.
you know, it's funny that you bring up metallica. the bastard was watching this documentary about the seattle scene last night and there was this kid outside of a pearl jam/soundgarden show (also there was a sound check version of "searching with my good eye closed" going on). and he's standing there in all of his teenage glory with braids and earplugs shoved up his nose saying, "i'm pissed. i'm pissed because i heard 'em first". the bastard gets the feeling that love for a band is not about the band's skills so much as it is about how the band makes you feel about yourself at the time and selling out is not about the band making a buck, it's about how you no longer feel that way or the band no longer makes you feel that way. i'm kind of like that about audioslave. i love the way cornell sings. but now that the bastard is no longer a child, i have put childish things away and i can't be in love with his sound anymore. it doesn't make me feel like something new is washing over me for the first time. i felt it last night listening to him singing "searching..." in that haunting monotone he does and for a minute, i was new again. i had my hair in the wind again. i was more innocent.
then the scene changed, the music stopped and there the bastard was on the floor..doing situps...less innocent than he was than when he was a kid. a little bit older and with more important things on his mind than he had when he was younger. damn, i wish i had that feeling back again. stupid old man, is it to the sky?
—the bastard
Monday, October 17, 2005
...on language lessons
...and other lesser crap
so this morning, the bastard is walking to the train when when i'm once again trying to make my way between fast moving cars because, why should the bastard have to wait for that guy to pass when there is a perfectly fine gap between these two characters. of course what i think i didn't notice is that these guys are trying to make it out of a parking lot to make the light. he's got his window rolled down and he's got his gavone hat on. so purely out of instinct, on hand goes to open the trench to go for the steel and the other one goes right up because i thought vinnie boombatz wanted to do some bird watching. you'd think at 35 the bastard would grow the hell up but, sometimes the bastard has to be cheeky to the rubes. sure it ain't fair to him but, i have to do something with my time in hell. as he drives past he yells out, "you are fuggun white trash". for a minute there, i took it the wrong way. i thought he meant me. but , i was in my work finery so he must have meant someone else. then again if "I" was the white trash in question, how come he's the one yelling out such colorful metaphors. i 'd like to take this opportunity to beg to differ. just because your kid goes to a high price school doesn't mean you have class buddy. it means you have cash. and there isn't enough of that to buy class. jerk.
so now we're steppen to the PM and i'm riding the elevated back to the place and i get a whiff of youth culture which i have become all too familiar with, the nextel phone. anyway the bastard is just as entertained by the rude and totally inattentive behavior of the kid as he is by the reactions of the people who contort themselves into the most "offended" look they could muster. anyway, there's this greasy kid and she got one of those walky talky phones that makes the bastard wonder what kind of debt this kids dad is racking up so she can ask "where you at" to her friends. so she's chewing on her lee press on nails as if she would be better served by buying a piece of rawhide to teethe on. anyway, boop boop, ice station zebra calling and she responds to said homey with a highly cultured "ih wuz anh axeident dickface". woo hoo my prayers are answered and now as the hackneyed conversation rolls on, i get more entertained by it. then she finally dismisses her friends by telling them "dat ahm tryin to tahk to mah fahvuh but you kep beepun enh." she signs off, and resumes chewing her lee press ons. she's going to make someone wake up crying after a night of hard drinking one day 7 years from now. you can't make this stuff up.
—the bastard
so this morning, the bastard is walking to the train when when i'm once again trying to make my way between fast moving cars because, why should the bastard have to wait for that guy to pass when there is a perfectly fine gap between these two characters. of course what i think i didn't notice is that these guys are trying to make it out of a parking lot to make the light. he's got his window rolled down and he's got his gavone hat on. so purely out of instinct, on hand goes to open the trench to go for the steel and the other one goes right up because i thought vinnie boombatz wanted to do some bird watching. you'd think at 35 the bastard would grow the hell up but, sometimes the bastard has to be cheeky to the rubes. sure it ain't fair to him but, i have to do something with my time in hell. as he drives past he yells out, "you are fuggun white trash". for a minute there, i took it the wrong way. i thought he meant me. but , i was in my work finery so he must have meant someone else. then again if "I" was the white trash in question, how come he's the one yelling out such colorful metaphors. i 'd like to take this opportunity to beg to differ. just because your kid goes to a high price school doesn't mean you have class buddy. it means you have cash. and there isn't enough of that to buy class. jerk.
so now we're steppen to the PM and i'm riding the elevated back to the place and i get a whiff of youth culture which i have become all too familiar with, the nextel phone. anyway the bastard is just as entertained by the rude and totally inattentive behavior of the kid as he is by the reactions of the people who contort themselves into the most "offended" look they could muster. anyway, there's this greasy kid and she got one of those walky talky phones that makes the bastard wonder what kind of debt this kids dad is racking up so she can ask "where you at" to her friends. so she's chewing on her lee press on nails as if she would be better served by buying a piece of rawhide to teethe on. anyway, boop boop, ice station zebra calling and she responds to said homey with a highly cultured "ih wuz anh axeident dickface". woo hoo my prayers are answered and now as the hackneyed conversation rolls on, i get more entertained by it. then she finally dismisses her friends by telling them "dat ahm tryin to tahk to mah fahvuh but you kep beepun enh." she signs off, and resumes chewing her lee press ons. she's going to make someone wake up crying after a night of hard drinking one day 7 years from now. you can't make this stuff up.—the bastard
this just in...
jane's addiction has officially gone the way of the sell out. well aside from the whole getting back together to tour thing that looked alot like making money instead of art. but, the bastard is watching the transporter on fx (which the bastard likes alot because of the film maker's portrayal of tough bald guys blowing shit up) and during the commercial, on comes a jack daniels commercial and what is our incidental music but, "jane says". one of the more poignant songs of the era and it's the soundtrack of a jack daniels commercial. how fitting. waitaminut. jack daniels has commercials?
—the bastard
—the bastard
open your head to me...stupid
...or on celebrity part deux
so the bastard's stomach is grumbling waiting for go time. to the gyro stand where jerkface wants to go for food. i could use the walk seeing as it's across town. but what should the bastard's wandering eye should see but this little gem from the drudge report(cut and paste before it goes away:
MADONNA WARNS: ALL WILL GO TO HELL IF DON'T TURN FROM WICKED BEHAVIOR; 'MOST PRIESTS ARE GAY'
**Exclusive Details**
The former Material Girl now believes "the beast is the modern world that we live in!"
"The material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing," Madonna explains in her new documentary film, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET.
In the movie, which will premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City on Tuesday, Madonna warns how people "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior."
The singer, who is also promoting the upcoming release of her new music CD, declares: "Most priests are gay."
"I refer to an entity called 'The Beast'. I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now. To me 'The Beast' is the modern world that we live in."
now don't get me wrong. the bastard is probably going to hell. in fact, it's more than likely. perhaps i'm in hell already? but that is a discussion for the existentialists (god exists and he's dead....and he was short). but the day we as a people should entertain the idiotic endtime musings of detroits favorite fake british accent may be in and of itself a sign of the apocalypse. the bastard finds it fascinating at what celebrity will say to america to get your attention when they have something new to promote. does only the bastard see that katie holmes is pregnant with tom cruise's baby just in time for both "batman begins" and "war of the worlds" to come to video? i'm sure that's not the case but it's something worth mentioning. anyway, no doubt madonna's base will get out there to see her wack ass kicking and screaming fit as she descends into her own her that is cultural irrelavence. here's to hoping that she takes a few other 14:59 mother grabbers with them. when you call my name it's like a little aaaaaaahhh shuddup!
i'm going to tell you a secret dear....your time is up. it's just a shame that you wrecked your husbands ability to rock a fantastic caper film.
—the bastard
so the bastard's stomach is grumbling waiting for go time. to the gyro stand where jerkface wants to go for food. i could use the walk seeing as it's across town. but what should the bastard's wandering eye should see but this little gem from the drudge report(cut and paste before it goes away:
MADONNA WARNS: ALL WILL GO TO HELL IF DON'T TURN FROM WICKED BEHAVIOR; 'MOST PRIESTS ARE GAY'
**Exclusive Details**
The former Material Girl now believes "the beast is the modern world that we live in!"
"The material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing," Madonna explains in her new documentary film, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET.
In the movie, which will premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City on Tuesday, Madonna warns how people "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior."
The singer, who is also promoting the upcoming release of her new music CD, declares: "Most priests are gay."
"I refer to an entity called 'The Beast'. I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now. To me 'The Beast' is the modern world that we live in."
now don't get me wrong. the bastard is probably going to hell. in fact, it's more than likely. perhaps i'm in hell already? but that is a discussion for the existentialists (god exists and he's dead....and he was short). but the day we as a people should entertain the idiotic endtime musings of detroits favorite fake british accent may be in and of itself a sign of the apocalypse. the bastard finds it fascinating at what celebrity will say to america to get your attention when they have something new to promote. does only the bastard see that katie holmes is pregnant with tom cruise's baby just in time for both "batman begins" and "war of the worlds" to come to video? i'm sure that's not the case but it's something worth mentioning. anyway, no doubt madonna's base will get out there to see her wack ass kicking and screaming fit as she descends into her own her that is cultural irrelavence. here's to hoping that she takes a few other 14:59 mother grabbers with them. when you call my name it's like a little aaaaaaahhh shuddup!
i'm going to tell you a secret dear....your time is up. it's just a shame that you wrecked your husbands ability to rock a fantastic caper film.
—the bastard
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Let's talk about the Hulk
I've spent the last few months breaking in bad helpers, dodgeing lightning, sweating profusely (as all of all of the mofo clan do so well), working way too hard and trying to recover from bronchitis, with no health insurance, only enough cash to pay bills, complaining about my government, avoiding the newest cracker-ass-cracker who wants some of the mofo's time, looking for anything to do with anyone who may actually be kool, while trying to live a productive life in place that left productivity behind and when it all comes to it, when I'm completely stressed, done with it and ready to pack it in, I simply take a breath and ask: What would The Hulk do? 
Of course the easy answer to that is to smash, cause, you know, the Hulk, like, smashes. But if you want a more detailed insight into the what's going on in the Hulk's head, check out his diary, the link's on the right. It's truly the most entertaining thing I have ever seen on the internet.
mofo
here comes the sun....
...or on how i've never been so glad to see it overcast
well the bastard hates to sound ungrateful but it's about damn time. 8 solid days or water soaked misery has come to it's conclusion. it felt like i was living in london. but then again it only rained once during the time the bastard went to london. maybe it's more like frisco. nah i didn't have that either but then again the lowe left the bay area because it literally rain every day for a year when he lived there. maybe, maybe ireland. to be more specific, we can say it's been like dublin or waterford during the winter because that's the biggest rain the bastard has ever felt while on vacation. anyway, see ya remains of tropical storm tina. don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.
—the bastard
well the bastard hates to sound ungrateful but it's about damn time. 8 solid days or water soaked misery has come to it's conclusion. it felt like i was living in london. but then again it only rained once during the time the bastard went to london. maybe it's more like frisco. nah i didn't have that either but then again the lowe left the bay area because it literally rain every day for a year when he lived there. maybe, maybe ireland. to be more specific, we can say it's been like dublin or waterford during the winter because that's the biggest rain the bastard has ever felt while on vacation. anyway, see ya remains of tropical storm tina. don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.—the bastard
Thursday, October 13, 2005
why do we publish these things?
so that bastard was having a little chat with his mother last weekend and we were discussing the subway bomb threats and the mother brought up a point that has been bandying about his head for a little bit now. she said that the "terrorists" don't need bombs, all they have to do is issue the threat and we say, "how high?" the fuzz gets mobile, and we feel cautiously safe. quite frankly the bastard doesn't care. i don't feel as though my rights are being violated if some cops with mike one sixes are walking through the subway with me. when the bastard was in paris, the first major difference he noticed was the fact that the french keep guys with automatic weapons all over the airport. makes sense. we live in a dangerous world and with crazy egyptians shooting up LAX, i can't say as i think it's a bad idea. now apply that same ideology into the subway. you're tranferring from the number 6 train at canal. narrow passageway. al zarqawi gives the hi sign and we have ourselves a big mess in a little passage so i get it more or less.
anyway, i'm getting off message. i was doing my morning reading of the news and i came across an op ed that linked me to the english translation of a letter to zarqawi from al zawahiri and it got me to thinking. why do they publish this shit. today we practically know down to the last 10th of a second when al qaeda is going to potentially set off a nuclear device on october 29th because it's frikkin ramadan. now it's true that we need to be in the know, our freedoms dictate that we have a right to this knowledge but what are we going to do with it other than discuss it around the water cooler and shit our pants as we try to rock ourselves to sleep at night. it just makes the bastard wonder sometimes.
—the bastard
anyway, i'm getting off message. i was doing my morning reading of the news and i came across an op ed that linked me to the english translation of a letter to zarqawi from al zawahiri and it got me to thinking. why do they publish this shit. today we practically know down to the last 10th of a second when al qaeda is going to potentially set off a nuclear device on october 29th because it's frikkin ramadan. now it's true that we need to be in the know, our freedoms dictate that we have a right to this knowledge but what are we going to do with it other than discuss it around the water cooler and shit our pants as we try to rock ourselves to sleep at night. it just makes the bastard wonder sometimes.
—the bastard
and the rain rain rain fell down down down
mother of twelve bastards, this is going to keep going on until saturday. i'm going to jump out of a window now.
—tha bastard
—tha bastard
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
now that's more like it
...or how the rest of the day picks up the slack for your good morning
holy frikkin hannah boys and girls, the afternoon is the bitch goddess to the morning's sweetness. good morning considering the rain, lucky escape 10 minutes before the sky opens up and rain holy hell on new york and someone put the milk in. okay now that we're on the same page, the day rolls on and the bastard is going batso. yes the bastard knows enough italian to declare himself crazy. i know enough german to well, you get the picture. the work is going well enough but, after 3 or 4 days of rain, it gets to you. can't stand it and the coffee wasn't helping. so upon discussion with the nice lady i hit the bricks but the car is on the wrong end of queens.
so i head downtown towards the m train (ergo yesterday's train pix). by the time i get down there, i find that there is a power outage on the williamsburg bridge so i have to head back uptown. now in true MTA fashion, a fellow commuter told me about this, not an announcer. jerks. i go all the way back uptown to take the old school route to the house. normalcy, i can even get unwound. i get to the hood and it's pissing out. i call the nice lady and meet her at the boy's school and i tuck in for the evening. now the bastard isn't one to welcome calamity but after having it so good this morning, it's nice to see the afternoon pick up the slack. now eat your dinner, shiteyes
—the bastard
holy frikkin hannah boys and girls, the afternoon is the bitch goddess to the morning's sweetness. good morning considering the rain, lucky escape 10 minutes before the sky opens up and rain holy hell on new york and someone put the milk in. okay now that we're on the same page, the day rolls on and the bastard is going batso. yes the bastard knows enough italian to declare himself crazy. i know enough german to well, you get the picture. the work is going well enough but, after 3 or 4 days of rain, it gets to you. can't stand it and the coffee wasn't helping. so upon discussion with the nice lady i hit the bricks but the car is on the wrong end of queens.
so i head downtown towards the m train (ergo yesterday's train pix). by the time i get down there, i find that there is a power outage on the williamsburg bridge so i have to head back uptown. now in true MTA fashion, a fellow commuter told me about this, not an announcer. jerks. i go all the way back uptown to take the old school route to the house. normalcy, i can even get unwound. i get to the hood and it's pissing out. i call the nice lady and meet her at the boy's school and i tuck in for the evening. now the bastard isn't one to welcome calamity but after having it so good this morning, it's nice to see the afternoon pick up the slack. now eat your dinner, shiteyes—the bastard
tut tut, looks like rain
...or on staying dry.
so the place is empty and the bastard decides, well either way, i'm ending up at the office. making guns look good. funny thing is the bastard almost typed making guns look god, is there something in that freudian slip? anyway the bastard decides that rather than dig on the pre recorded stylings of pat kiernan and the new york one news team....again, i'd get the hell outta dodge. the bastard walks up to the train and it's a heavy drizzle. not awful, i can deal. commute is relatively quiet and i get to the office. coffee's rolling and oh snap, we have milk. holy crap! i just realized how absolutely fucking mundane the bastard's day to day is. i think i'll have to jump out a plate glass window! this is what happens when i start something before i get hopped up on goofballs. i think rather than write about how the sky totally opened up right after the bastard got settled in, i will go out and run in it until i come to my senses or at least until the stims kick in.
—the bastard
so the place is empty and the bastard decides, well either way, i'm ending up at the office. making guns look good. funny thing is the bastard almost typed making guns look god, is there something in that freudian slip? anyway the bastard decides that rather than dig on the pre recorded stylings of pat kiernan and the new york one news team....again, i'd get the hell outta dodge. the bastard walks up to the train and it's a heavy drizzle. not awful, i can deal. commute is relatively quiet and i get to the office. coffee's rolling and oh snap, we have milk. holy crap! i just realized how absolutely fucking mundane the bastard's day to day is. i think i'll have to jump out a plate glass window! this is what happens when i start something before i get hopped up on goofballs. i think rather than write about how the sky totally opened up right after the bastard got settled in, i will go out and run in it until i come to my senses or at least until the stims kick in.—the bastard
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
take a ride on the reading railroad
actually, the bastard doesn't really know is reading does have it's own railroad anymore. i've never really been to reading. all i know that there's alot of woods in pennsylvania. you know, i could ask the photo editor if reading still has a railroad, she's from pennsylvania. but then agai, she takes a bus to work.
just taking a few shots of the elevated in my spare time. the bastard needs to empty the camera or some such.
—the bastard
Monday, October 10, 2005
and other reasons why this holiday shouldn't be recognized
So yeah, there is the Native American gentrification issue, there are Italians taking credit for a trip that could never happen if it weren't for the spanish, but hey: What about the Vikings? Scandanavian people were taking cruises back and forth to the Americas years before Columbus got his three ships and "proved" the world was round, why doesn't Erik the Red get some dap? I say this only because though my family name is considered Irish, I'm technically more Polish than anything else and there is no Polock day. I can say I'm part Irish, (which would be true) and celebrate St. Patty's as thus but the truth is may last name is a Viking name, and if weren't for the Viking's taking sojurns back and forth to New Foundland and Greenland so many years ago, a bunch of Walsh's never would have gotten off the boat in Ireland and said, "that's far enough, I think I'll take my family and settle on this Island with all the potatoes and Guiness." So, while celebrating the great Columbus for almost getting thrown off his own ship before running into the Dominican Republic give a shout out to the Vikings.
mofo
mofo
...on the plus side
so today is columbus day. a holiday that has become so politically incorrect to celebrate in this country that it is probably the only event that justice antonin scalia will ever get invited to in new york city. he gets to be grand marshall of a parade that celebrates a holiday that the american indian movement wants to quash and who can blame them. on the same token it seems to be morphing into an italian st patricks day which is good because saint vincents day gets completely overshadowed by it. which is a plus i guess. down side: bastard has to go to work today because the world's largest media conglomerate doesn't shutter it's doors for such politically incorrect whatnot. we have an asian employee group, a gay employee group, an african american employee group, and a women's employee group. it's kind of like college when there is a student union for every group under the sun except the perceived majority. i guess it's there to break the illusion of the glass ceiling here in publishing but it feels like that everyday is definitely not white boy day. the bastard understands. he worked his ass through college to get to where he is and that why i can sleep at night. the bastard has to deal, this is how it is.
plus side: no one else had to go to work today. bastard gets a peaceful commute. gets to think about shit. gets to feel a little bit better about yesterday. gets to feel a little bit more optimistic about today and maybe tomorrow. maybe.
—the bastard
Sunday, October 09, 2005
...on serendipity
so i'm on the way to the place, and i can't figure out what to eat. you know that feeling that you want something and you don't know what it is? anyway the bastard hangs up the phone and lo and behold, we have a japanese restaurant in the area. right after i hang up the phone, there it is. the weird part is they were piping in christian rock while i was waiting for my udon noodles and sushi. how weird. then again i guess the bastard can trust that the fish was fresh, they are christian and all.
—the bastard
—the bastard
...on hitting the target
...or on not hatin' the playa, hatin' the game
well the bastard has been sensing some tension in his and the mofo's little pocket of ether. don't get me wrong mo, like i've said, the bastard isn't angry or tight shorted in fact this is almost like how i wished discourse was. you and dub are everything the bastard ever wanted in an allan combes, so by all means gents, keep swinging, i'll keep swinging back. but to break up the vitriol the bastard went to the range with the boy, cause when the shit comes down the bastard will need to forage for food and who better to help out than the boy.
besides, it gives me something to do with all of these hurricane leftovers. it has been downright crappy out this weekend and i had bigger and better plans for the boy and i, i just can't seem to get out and do it (like say, go to the park) in a torrential downpour. so the boy and i went down to ye old archery range to shoot some blocks of styrofoam. you see, the bastards magazine is doing a story on the future of hunting.
QUICK SIDEBAR: the bastard isn't a hunter, i don't really have it in me to kill and animal (people may be a different story but ida know) when i can buy one from my grocer's freezer or perhaps go down to the mitch and grab some fresh cut animal bidness but, the bastard does work for the hunting and fishing community which makes uncle texas a very proud godfather to the bastard.
anyway, you see, in this future of hunting article the magazine will discuss, people who are "out there in the trenches" so to speak helping the cause that is my bread and butter and they will profile new species that will be widely discussed in hunting circles. styrofoam blocks are one of those species. you see they are overrunning parts of the northeast and wisconsin and people are starting to become at risk from styrofoam blocks wandering out onto the highways and causing auto accidents. why i was nearly in onw on the way over to the rents house one saturday and if my brakes weren't true that day, who knows? so i think we'll have to cull the styrofoam block population before it endangers itself or others. sure we can spend 15,000 dollars a pop to sterilize these blocks or as the bastard's brother in law j1 suggests, introduce more predators into the environment but, i gotta say, this is the most econimic and cost effective way of dealing with styrofoam blocks. so join me out in the field this fall as we do our part for the culling of the blocks also know as styrofoam season.
—the bastard
well the bastard has been sensing some tension in his and the mofo's little pocket of ether. don't get me wrong mo, like i've said, the bastard isn't angry or tight shorted in fact this is almost like how i wished discourse was. you and dub are everything the bastard ever wanted in an allan combes, so by all means gents, keep swinging, i'll keep swinging back. but to break up the vitriol the bastard went to the range with the boy, cause when the shit comes down the bastard will need to forage for food and who better to help out than the boy.
besides, it gives me something to do with all of these hurricane leftovers. it has been downright crappy out this weekend and i had bigger and better plans for the boy and i, i just can't seem to get out and do it (like say, go to the park) in a torrential downpour. so the boy and i went down to ye old archery range to shoot some blocks of styrofoam. you see, the bastards magazine is doing a story on the future of hunting.
QUICK SIDEBAR: the bastard isn't a hunter, i don't really have it in me to kill and animal (people may be a different story but ida know) when i can buy one from my grocer's freezer or perhaps go down to the mitch and grab some fresh cut animal bidness but, the bastard does work for the hunting and fishing community which makes uncle texas a very proud godfather to the bastard.
anyway, you see, in this future of hunting article the magazine will discuss, people who are "out there in the trenches" so to speak helping the cause that is my bread and butter and they will profile new species that will be widely discussed in hunting circles. styrofoam blocks are one of those species. you see they are overrunning parts of the northeast and wisconsin and people are starting to become at risk from styrofoam blocks wandering out onto the highways and causing auto accidents. why i was nearly in onw on the way over to the rents house one saturday and if my brakes weren't true that day, who knows? so i think we'll have to cull the styrofoam block population before it endangers itself or others. sure we can spend 15,000 dollars a pop to sterilize these blocks or as the bastard's brother in law j1 suggests, introduce more predators into the environment but, i gotta say, this is the most econimic and cost effective way of dealing with styrofoam blocks. so join me out in the field this fall as we do our part for the culling of the blocks also know as styrofoam season.
—the bastard
Saturday, October 08, 2005
not be be crass about disasters but...
...wasn't it just after hurricane katrina that some mullahs or imans went around saying that allah had brought the winds and rains down upon the infidels because something something we deserve it for not being allah's chosen people and we should get out of iraq or somesuch?
well, could one argue that maybe jesus brought frikkin earthquakes upon the unbelievers in the one true church. ahhhhhhhh, i'm just talking smack about this. the bastard isn't a religious man. how could i be, i'm a bastard? anyway, this is a very serious situation that doesn't need the bastard to remark on the opportunistic shit talking of some jerk who feels the need to gloat when the u.s. is having a crisis or a national disaster. nah the bastard doesn't need to remark on the folks that were dancing in the streets in palestine on september 11th, 2001. nah, he doesn't need to do that. nah, we live in a politically correct country where it would be unseemly to throw shit back in the muslim world's face when a natural disaster occurs. nah. sorry kids, th eowrld frustrates me and i need to say the wrong thing sometimes. i hold no ill will for the people who are suffering over there as i type. hell, i could be just as unlucky, i may be that unlucky next week perhaps.
seriously though, this is an awful disaster to happen in a region that has it hard as it is. i hope that the same people who came out for our disaster, come out for pakistan. kanye?
—the bastard
i gotta get off of the politics and world affairs for a day or two. some nicer stuff maybe this week. ahhhhhh who am i kidding
well, could one argue that maybe jesus brought frikkin earthquakes upon the unbelievers in the one true church. ahhhhhhhh, i'm just talking smack about this. the bastard isn't a religious man. how could i be, i'm a bastard? anyway, this is a very serious situation that doesn't need the bastard to remark on the opportunistic shit talking of some jerk who feels the need to gloat when the u.s. is having a crisis or a national disaster. nah the bastard doesn't need to remark on the folks that were dancing in the streets in palestine on september 11th, 2001. nah, he doesn't need to do that. nah, we live in a politically correct country where it would be unseemly to throw shit back in the muslim world's face when a natural disaster occurs. nah. sorry kids, th eowrld frustrates me and i need to say the wrong thing sometimes. i hold no ill will for the people who are suffering over there as i type. hell, i could be just as unlucky, i may be that unlucky next week perhaps.
seriously though, this is an awful disaster to happen in a region that has it hard as it is. i hope that the same people who came out for our disaster, come out for pakistan. kanye?
—the bastard
i gotta get off of the politics and world affairs for a day or two. some nicer stuff maybe this week. ahhhhhh who am i kidding
Friday, October 07, 2005
quote of the day
“Sometimes the problem with being a Democrat is being a Democrat.”
—james carville speaking to the northwestern college democrats recently.
i'm glad to see james has nailed the problem down. gouge away mofo.
—the bastard
—james carville speaking to the northwestern college democrats recently.
i'm glad to see james has nailed the problem down. gouge away mofo.
—the bastard
running the gauntlet 5
so last night i was coming out of the subway when i was greated by multiple cop cars. the bastard though, oh shit, they finally found me out. they found the bodies. i'm sunk. keep it cool baldy keep it cool. if you cover your eyes they can't see you. just another 2 steps and SUCCESS. i made it. i'm so glad my powers of invisibility still work on an overcast day. then when i got back to the place i realized that it wasn't me they were looking for, it was terrorists.apparently in their unrelenting quest to overthrow the united states, al qaeda had the passing notion (which has since been downgraded to a "non credible" threat). to plant 19 bombs in the new york subway system. now yes yes, it is scary and i DO worry about these things but the bastard has really pressing stuff on his brain so i have seemed to ovesimplify things for myself.
when you think about it, when vietnam was fought, one argued that you need to win the hearts and minds of the people to win a war and NOTHING wins the hearts and minds of the people like blowing shit up on their commute to work. now the bastard knows that we're ALL cowardly and shit and that if they blow shit up then, america is just gonna tuck it's liddle ol tail between it's legs and go crying home to mama. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHH please mama please! the bad ol islamofascists blew up the fucking F train mama. puhleese can we all convert to islam. here's your burka." well i hate to be the bearer of bad news but, the downside to assymetrical warfare is that france rolling over for algeria withstanding, if you blow up shit in your perceived enemy's nation, you'll piss them off and they will retaliate (not the french though, they will bend over and let you have algeria). it didn't work for the irish did it? after nearly a century of blwoing british shit up what got the two factions to talk turkey? talking!! holy crap what a concept. so note to al qaeda, "guys this shit ain't gonna work. we found you in afghanistan and we mauled the place. you popped up in iraq, we mauled the place. i'm sure if we find you somewhere else, we will maul it. even if it might be astoria. yes the bastard is oversimplifying. yes the bastard sounds one sided but it is my want. if the internet has shown us anything, it's that every asshole has a voice and here is mine. wubba wubba wubba wubba boo! get back to bomb sniffing, shiteyes.
—the bastard
you say it's your birthday....
...it's my birthday too.
no it isn't the bastard's birthday. it is left hand rob's but since i did sing him this little ditty he called me a "birthday stealing bastard" which now puts birthday stealing on his list of skills (along with scowl and invisibility) happy birthday rob, ya commy!
—the bastard
no it isn't the bastard's birthday. it is left hand rob's but since i did sing him this little ditty he called me a "birthday stealing bastard" which now puts birthday stealing on his list of skills (along with scowl and invisibility) happy birthday rob, ya commy!
—the bastard
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Don't mess with me or I'll shoot ya'!
So purgatory has a new law on the books, it's called the "stand your ground" law. This law states that when you are attacked in the State of Florida you have the right to use your gun to defend yourself. You no longer have to prove it was self defense, you can just whip it out and use it. Of cuorse the bill being past is just another feather in the cap of the National Rifle Association, who lobbied hard to get this law in place, not that it would have been difficult to convince a bunch of toothless crackers to support such an action, but the NRA was there pushing the envelope with their AK-47 and other heavy duty artillery they think every citizen should not be without.
Not to bash the NRA which those who know me know that it is one of my favorite hobbies but picture this: you're driving down a highway a guy cuts you off, you give him what for, he gives you what for in return. This esculates into a road rage incident in which you both get out of your cars and scream at each other. One of you throws a punch the other pulls a gun-b'dow, you got yourself a bullet in the head--in self defenmse. Far-fetched, maybe, but I don't think so, in court this law can be used as a defense and then could be made precedent, and once that happens it can be used in any state for any similiar circumstance even if there is no law on the books in said state. Its like when the Supreme Court ruled that states can overturn Federal law. After that states began overturning federal law like it was going out of style, like the Brady Bill for instance that states anyone buying a gun must wait through a 7-day waiting period in order to complete purchase and recieve said merchandise. So in states like Florida and Virginia you can buy a gun with no more than a driver's license, and walk out of your local Wal-Mart artillery in hand. Consider this: Guy drives from New York to Virginia, guy goes to gun shop, guy uses well-made fake ID to purchase two glock 9mms, guy gets in his car, drives back in New York and sells the glocks for a profit at his high school to other guy. Other guy wants to get revenge on third guy for selling drugs on his turf, other guy goes to school that Monday shoots third guy in the neck, third guy dies in high school auditorium. Couldn't happen right? Wrong, it did, in Jamaica High School in 1988, a year before I got there. I used to have lunch with the kid that sold the gun, his older brother was the one who took the run down to virginia and back. Thank you NRA and while we're at it, thank you Supreme Court.
I'm all for defending yourself. Learn how to box. You want to own a gun?, I have no problem with that, but do you need a glock? You want to go hunting but do you need a automatic rifle? I know, guns don't kill people, people kill people--exactly--people are killers, stop giving them guns!! The contitution does not garuntee your right to bear arms, niether does the Bill of Rights for that matter, it actually says that every state is allowed to keep a well armed militia, the NRA wants you to think that the ammendment actually says you have the right to bear arms, it does not. I know there are bad people out there with guns doing bad things and gunowners want theirs so when they are confronted with these bad people they can protect themselves, well fine, but where does it end? Have fun killing yoursleves you cracker-ass-crackers!
mofo
Not to bash the NRA which those who know me know that it is one of my favorite hobbies but picture this: you're driving down a highway a guy cuts you off, you give him what for, he gives you what for in return. This esculates into a road rage incident in which you both get out of your cars and scream at each other. One of you throws a punch the other pulls a gun-b'dow, you got yourself a bullet in the head--in self defenmse. Far-fetched, maybe, but I don't think so, in court this law can be used as a defense and then could be made precedent, and once that happens it can be used in any state for any similiar circumstance even if there is no law on the books in said state. Its like when the Supreme Court ruled that states can overturn Federal law. After that states began overturning federal law like it was going out of style, like the Brady Bill for instance that states anyone buying a gun must wait through a 7-day waiting period in order to complete purchase and recieve said merchandise. So in states like Florida and Virginia you can buy a gun with no more than a driver's license, and walk out of your local Wal-Mart artillery in hand. Consider this: Guy drives from New York to Virginia, guy goes to gun shop, guy uses well-made fake ID to purchase two glock 9mms, guy gets in his car, drives back in New York and sells the glocks for a profit at his high school to other guy. Other guy wants to get revenge on third guy for selling drugs on his turf, other guy goes to school that Monday shoots third guy in the neck, third guy dies in high school auditorium. Couldn't happen right? Wrong, it did, in Jamaica High School in 1988, a year before I got there. I used to have lunch with the kid that sold the gun, his older brother was the one who took the run down to virginia and back. Thank you NRA and while we're at it, thank you Supreme Court.
I'm all for defending yourself. Learn how to box. You want to own a gun?, I have no problem with that, but do you need a glock? You want to go hunting but do you need a automatic rifle? I know, guns don't kill people, people kill people--exactly--people are killers, stop giving them guns!! The contitution does not garuntee your right to bear arms, niether does the Bill of Rights for that matter, it actually says that every state is allowed to keep a well armed militia, the NRA wants you to think that the ammendment actually says you have the right to bear arms, it does not. I know there are bad people out there with guns doing bad things and gunowners want theirs so when they are confronted with these bad people they can protect themselves, well fine, but where does it end? Have fun killing yoursleves you cracker-ass-crackers!
mofo
Monday, October 03, 2005
...on soft targets
when the bastard was an art student on a collision course with disaster, he also moolighted as a grocery clerk on a collision course with colt 45 (every time). i used to work in a large neighborhood store that happened to be the place where many of the bastard's friends (old friends, the kind you read about in books) worked as well. one of them was fred klang. fred was/is the bastards oldest friend. the bastard met fred one august at a party when i was 5 years old. we both had 6 million dollar man action figures and my neighbor was his nephew. this was due to fred's mom having kids later in life. it was rather funny because fred's "nephew" was almost 3 time his age at the time. anyway frd klang worked at the store with me and robbo and the drummer and chuck and a host of others. one night on the loading dock the bastard was complaining about how he couldn't stand that chuck kept bugging him. you see, chuck lived down the block and he was one of the dub's first friends on the block and the dub's first enemy on the block. he was a bully, plain and simple. he was a funny bully which misleads you into thinking he's cool but he was a bully. anyway the bastard is complaining to fred who has a sort of street wisdom that you would get when you've seen alot and drank alot. i told fred that i wanted to cut chuck's tires. i couldn't stand his bullying. fred said to me, that there is nothing more cowardly than anonymously damaging someone's car. "if you got beef, then you need to get in his face about it, not break his car", was what mistuh klang said. it was sage advice.
which brings be to my point. over the weekend, there were several explosions in a touristy section of bali and an al qaeda affiliate has taken responsibility for it. 26 people died. 101 injured. and i thought of what fred said. correlated, is there anything more cowardly than going to a tourist center to blow up tourists? i think so. maybe it's my western conventions that make me think that battles should be fought on a battlefield not at a resort. what the hell do i know? i ended up slashing chuck's tires anyway. and in retrospect it was a cowardly thing to do but at least the bastard didn't blow up a bunch of tourists for what history will show is no good reason. you frikkin cowards.
—the bastard
which brings be to my point. over the weekend, there were several explosions in a touristy section of bali and an al qaeda affiliate has taken responsibility for it. 26 people died. 101 injured. and i thought of what fred said. correlated, is there anything more cowardly than going to a tourist center to blow up tourists? i think so. maybe it's my western conventions that make me think that battles should be fought on a battlefield not at a resort. what the hell do i know? i ended up slashing chuck's tires anyway. and in retrospect it was a cowardly thing to do but at least the bastard didn't blow up a bunch of tourists for what history will show is no good reason. you frikkin cowards.
—the bastard
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