Sunday, May 27, 2007

...on the meme

alright lobster, you have your wish. the bastard will work your eight random facts from parts western. apparently it works like this. i give your asses eight random facts about the bastard and then see about making sure 8 of my minions write about 8 random things about themselves. allthough i was going to rock it on over to jimmy3000 but apparently, he did his own version that should be essential reading but, i have to say "CURSES 3K! FUCKING CURSES!!!!!!"

1) if i had it all to do over again, i would have listened to something else other than heavy metal in high school. not that i would have gone out like the reprobates that i hung out with in high school (i'm talking about the metal guys who went guido to get chicks, not you johnny long hair). i'm not saying that i wouldn't have listened to metal in high school (cause that mastadon show was the bomb) but, i would have been more well rounded. i missed out on a lot of great acts in those days and that shit ain't gonna come back.

2) this doesn't really count. it's more of a reaction to lobster's meme post. that while his ven diagram is in his family crest,that due to the bastard being in fact "fly", this is why i'm hot. however, the bastard's family motto means stopped but not dead. i don't know what the hell that means but after hitting a tree face on and breaking my nose, i ain't dead so put that in your pipe and smoke it shiteyes.

3) the boy is coming home with me tonight and i am nervous as hell as to whether i'll be a decent father again. he deserves the best quite frankly and i'd like him to have it.

4) i have a disease. it's the family's disease. it's called procrastination. i'd have a motorcycle license now if i didn't procrastinate. then again, if i didn't procrastinate, i'd also own a kayak and live in lee, massachusetts so, maybe it ain's so bad. which reminds me, i have to book a photoshoot when i get back to the office that i should have booked before i left.

5) i actually miss drinking with scoop. i get text messages from her randomly but, it ain't the same as drinking 6 duke-o-ritas and blabbing about people we hate. come home, my lady's magazine still needs a managing editor.

6) i got a really strong worded email from one of my relatives the other day about not replying to his emails (mostly forwards). i actually see it as the cry for help that it is. i meant that dinner invite. the chairman means it too.

7) the bastard is very new york centric. never in a million years did i ever expect the second city i would know and love almost as much as my hometown would EVER be...las vegas. orlando however can eat a dick.

8) i roll to the right but, i'm for a woman's right to choose. i'm also for gay marriage, go figure. i also think that the religious right is fucking up my party. it makes it very difficult to explain a complex list of political positions. it's complicated.

yeah i know it's 8 and all but, 9) while the bastard feels right in the head now, the old man was right, i should have seen a shrink last year. way too much drinking happened in 2006. okay and since most of the people i'd like to see answer this crap either don't have blogs, put it in the comments window you jerkfaced jerks.

the mofo

chicago jerkface

scoop (allthough i am due for my yearly three yes/no questions)

uncle acid

the elder

the chairman (mo money, mo problems)

johnny long hair


annie, daughter of mawg

ok, there you have it. digest my dears. digest. more on my misadventures in the southwest later.

-the bastard

15 comments:

Rob S. said...

Thanks for memeing, you fly bastard!

bastard central said...

we try to hold to our virtual obligations. couldn't hurt you know.

Anonymous said...

The Daughter of Mogh fears nothing!

well, except maybe the meme....

DoM

ps--I should just bite the damn bullet and post a blog shouldn't I--

bastard central said...

yeah you should

jonny said...

What I don't make the list. Just because I suck at passwords does not mean I should get left out. On shrinks F that. On drinking to much i hope I was there for some to most of it. As for the chairman who the F is that. Back to 1 music who cares look at my ear choices. 2 i don't understand. 3 decent farther well you know my opinion, lock that shit up in court and keep with in 90 miles but you choose different so deal with it, it no matter location u be fun dad and spoil rotten and don't sweat it not going to be your problem til holidays or summer. 4 well yah not much to say about that except King Dimond. 5 I miss drinking with scoop too. 6 again who chairman and dinner did you ever dine with them anyway. 7 orlando's dick i don't know but vegas to live no, nice to visit. 8 I also agree as a red and a defender of your freedom. 9 brings us back to F shrinks, just find your friends and don't let them go. That sounded alittle gay so Fuck you. And back to the list of names that i am not on SO YOU CAN EAT A DICK STRAIGHT UP!

What I don't make the list. Just because I suck at passwords does not mean I should get left out. On shrinks F that. On drinking to much i hope I was there for some to most of it. As for the chairman who the F is that. Back to 1 music who cares look at my ear choices. 2 i don't understand. 3 decent farther well you know my opinion, lock that shit up in court and keep with in 90 miles but you choose different so deal with it, it no matter location u be fun dad and spoil rotten and don't sweat it not going to be your problem til holidays or summer. 4 well yah not much to say about that except King Dimond. 5 I miss drinking with scoop too. 6 again who chairman and dinner did you ever dine with them anyway. 7 orlando's dick i don't know but vegas to live no, nice to visit. 8 I also agree as a red and a defender of your freedom. 9 brings us back to F shrinks, just find your friends and don't let them go. That sounded alittle gay so Fuck you. And back to the list of names that i am not on SO YOU CAN EAT A DICK STRAIGHT UP!


JONNY AIRPLANES

jonny airplanes said...

what happened to airplanes

bastard central said...

point well taken jonny airplanes. give me nine random things i don't know about you

jonny airplanes said...

i don't think i have 9 unknown that are for public

bastard central said...

that and i can name at least 3 or 4 of them. if you'd like, i can run 9 facts that i actually know about jonny airplanes. i can see it now

...on hot dam

Anonymous said...

You know you're a great dad-the boy couldn't wait to get up there! AND, Mr Jonny Airplanes (I know, my turn) you and I both know the boy would have remained within less than 1 mile, just for the asking. So...yeah!! That's telling 'em!

mz. portz if ew nasti said...

eye miz drinkin w scewp 2

bastard central said...

mz portz. does mistah fobus know that yer out mullet hunting on the interweb?

the chairman said...

Hence for our family motto is Hot because ye are fly, ye aint cause ye not. or so crap

The Chairman said...

ok - seriously - i'm sorry. Thats the last time the Chairman will blog when he drinks too much champagne in his white suit. Kids don't drink Dom and blog.

bastard central said...

chairman,

clearly this falls under the catch all issue of "mo' money, mo' problems".