Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i read the news today, oh boy


ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

but seriously, the bastard had just finished joking to his coworkers about how he avoids reading the news on general principal and then drudge puts this one up. i had to laugh out loud.

and i did.

this is absurd.

A leading Russian political analyst has said the economic turmoil in the United States has confirmed his long-held view that the country is heading for collapse, and will divide into separate parts.

followed up by this absurdity

He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts - the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong.

He even suggested that "we could claim Alaska - it was only granted on lease, after all." Panarin, 60, is a professor at the Diplomatic Academy of the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and has authored several books on information warfare.


ok kids, the bastard will admit that it's been bad out there lately but, this is some weekly world news shit. moreover, this is just a fantastic testament on how oppressive regimes have no actual clue about the world around them because their facts are filtered through their own propaganda bureaus.

on the other hand, maybe the u.s IS going to break up and manhattan is going to become the demilitarized zone between a massive army of malcontents who have grown tired of the united states' protracted military conflicts and have seized the nation with an organized rebel force.

or maybe the bastard will just read volume five of the brian woods comic series dmz which is about how the island of manhattan becomes a demilitarized zone between a massive army of malcontents who have grown tired of the united states' protracted military conflicts and have seized the nation with an organized rebel force.

i knew i read this somewhere.

—the bastard

2 comments:

Rob S. said...

Y'know... I have, at various points, been absolutely terrified about what's happening, and what's up next.

But there's tragedy and then there's comedy -- and this guy is in friggin' Oliver Hardy territory. (Which is just north of Utah when the US breaks up, btw.)

Anonymous said...

Gary needs to stop writing for Drudge.