sunday evening majesty

is it majesty?

or is it just plain majestic.

—the bastard

...on high water

so this morning, our intrepid crew started the day drinking awful coffee, only to find fantastic coffee at this fine place.

we followed with a trip to the river. and got us to thinking,

with a mountain range in the middle, Missouri is a not to scale model of the united states. with st louis in the east being new york city and kansas city being the vastly more western los angeles. two towns that have vastly different looks and feels.

a trip well met as we ate some 8 hour old Arthur Bryant's under the arch which we called the gateway to the east since we're now heading east.

we encouraged the boy not to throw up on the arch as we may get banned for life from missouri as ozzy was in Texas.

now the open road calls to the east as we speed away from the setting sun. let's just try not to run into a ditch.

—the bastard

Saturday morning majesty

is it tragedy?

or is it majesty?

—the bastard

so long screwy...

... see ya in saint louie.

so, this is how you get a trip without planning.

or as the mofo refers to it, guerilla tourism.

when I got to his place on Tuesday, he goes, "how about we drive straight on to st louis so we can spend a day there. I wanna see the arch."

"cool"

flash forward: we're in a red robin in mechanicsburg, pa and one of selling bullets' writer /photographers calls up to ask about something he's shooting for me.

the bastard tells him that I'm out on walkabout and I tell him where.

so the baseplayer kindly opens up his home to us. and it was really a damn lifesaver for us because I don't think I could sleep this well in my car at ALL.

but we saw the busweiser plant.

the st louis arch.

and some frikkin great bluegrass and jazz in places a guidebook couldn't tell you where to go.

thanks bassplayer, you kept us from running this shit right off the road.

—the bastard

Thursday night photo essay

waffle gladness

—the bastard

the bastard's seen fire...

...and he's seen rain.

ran into a massive downpour on interstate 76.

got 365 on the first tank.

and we did see fire. folks were burning stumps on the side of a mountain before the downpour started.

it's creepy being a James Taylor song.

—the bastard

...on the big empty 2

just drove through three mountains.

hills rather.

100 miles from interstate 70.

driving the big empty in the east is like the first ten minutes of the shining for 500 miles.

—the bastard

it always sucks the night before a roadtrip

I always run logistics,

so

it's hard to get to sleep.

also, my ire is up.

so if i crash tomorrow, it's on you sir.

oh well, the pills are kicking in, maybe we get the in one piece.

time to hit the send button.

—the bastard

...on open roads

so the bastard is hitting the open road and the mofo has signed on as co-pilot.

19 hours

39 minutes

open road to kansas city.

for ribs and hostage exchanges.

we're picking up the boy in a most economical move which may add up to as little as 120 dollars in gasoline. and 120 dollars in hotel fees.

and murders.

lots of murders.

well maybe not. but there will be ribs.

lots of ribs.

—the bastard


P.S. don't worry, i'll still be blogging because that's what i do jerks!!!

...on the unexpected

the bastard didn't wake up this morning expecting it to be nice out so, i opted to sleep in.

this is the style of the time as i won't be sleeping as late this summer.

but my ladyfriemd woke me up at the crack of 10 telling me it was nice out.

and it was.

so we walked down the fdr drive and crossed over into the e. vill,

through tompkins square park, past the crusties and pet owners,

and got ourselves Belgian goodness for lunch. good times kids. good times.

—the bastard

broken down...

... and tired.

the bastard had an evening out with the kids.

it does well to feel less like an old man.

broken.

inside and out.

actually, it was a good night.

sometimes shot lines up and I can pull magic bits of conversation out of my ass. and tonight was one of those nights.

but now it's late, and i feel old and busted.

like it's only a matter of time. good thing I didn't get a milkshake.

for then, i'd be a dead man. now I just function and wait for the day that the wind hits me in the face again.

—the bastard

...on the take

there's something to be said for getting robbed.

and that is that it sucks.

some local hooligans got into my ride on either Friday or Saturday night and cleaned it out.

so the bastard is out a gps and some luggage and some trader joes bags.

could be worse.

they could have set the damn thing on fire. i thought this as the bastard drove past a burnt out minivan on park avenue.

so I replaced some junk today and parked her back in the borough it DIDN'T get broken into in.

oh well. go to hell.

—the bastard

...on escape velocity

the bastard had a hard time getting sleep last night.

which isn't so much with the good as this males for day two of roundtrips to stanford for the photographic benefit of killing stuff monthly.

6:30 tip off to get my act together so I can get some jet fuel and some packing material for the ride up. they talk about out man's bagels. you see the head of the Fordham baldies gets hisself some fine ass bagels but the bastard feels the need to get something awful and greasy in his gut.

makes him feel like a journalist.

so yesterday, I got a call from the past and answered because i have alot to answer for. bit it reminded me of my last venture into the time machine. to visit the past and make things right inside.

I'll get into it after i get settled at the studio. right now I'm accgeiving escape velocity straight on to Stanford by the good graces of the dirtbombs.

—the bastard

...on the process

end of day one and we haven't made a dent in the august issue.

better luck tomorrow. maybe make headway on september as well.

this is an antelope decoy.

we have some other junk but these are interesting at least.

—the bastard

you know...

...there are days when you go to get Indian food for dinner.

and there are days when you go to get Indian food for dinner and fire trucks get called in.

—the bastard

...on product placement

tired? worn out?


work got you all stressed out?



having trouble making that long drive home after drinking a full bottle of bourbon?


kids getting on your nerves?

get some fresh nap. it'll cure what ails ya.



fresh nap; it's not just for breakfast anymore.

—the bastard

transport fail

so the bastard drops the car off only to find that along with a higher fare to pay, we get less service. gotta love it.

—the bastard

...on bad ideas

so the bastard came back from lunch to find a box on his chair.

in the box were several little bottles of red bull arranged not quite unlike dr. jekyll's vial of formula a la the league of extraordinary gentlemen.

now, the bastard likes a gift as much as the next man but, i couldn't escape the notion that this would be a REALLY bad idea to have after 4 cups of coffee.

murderous rampage anyone?

—the bastard

Friday night majesty

is it tragedy?

or is it majesty?

—the bastard

this just in...

...and I say this as a parent.

hell is other people's kids.

stop kicking me you little fucker!!!

and can you quiet down that beastful baby you have writhing on you?

—the bastard