i was on a bus to the train this morning because it's just too damn hot to walk to the station. now my friendly foe from florida (it's called alliteration, it's a literary device) would call bull on the heat up here because, let's face it, hell has nothing on florida in the heat department. anyway, i was on the bus and this girl gets on wearing those bug eye glasses that he kids are rocking these days. and i had to take issue. i understand that there is a great love for audrey hepburn in this world, hell i tried to throw a cocktail party based on the party scene in "breakfast at tiffanys" (which worked out better than the time i wanted my apt to look like warhol's factory from the party scene in "i shot andy warhol", too much weird light in the living room). anyway, she was rocking these sunglasses but dressed in her sweats. now the glasses in question are those big wraparounds that made brian jones look like a drag queen in the 60's (is it the snakes again brian) and have the armani eagle all over it like she was some kind of super heroine defending truth, justice, and the right to dress like a homeless person with glamorous sunglasses. either way, i just thought she was doing the sunglass wearing public a disservice. i gotta find better way of passing the time on a bus.
—bastard
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