ice station zebra

from the railroad this is the view of the frozen tundra that us Hollis queens.

moms cookin chicken and collared greens



getting off by the rents in qv last night was like getting off at a suburban queens hood only if it was on the moon

the snow was still there.

hard packed from this guy my parents have been telling me about who has been piling it up on the corners.




which creates it's own host of trouble.

the frozen rain had done it's work

creating a glass landscape that was like a currier and ives card gone horribly wrong.

the bastard had to walk past the rents until he could find a driveway to cross the street.

I hope my leg won't break

walking on the moon.

—the bastard

big dig…

now the bastard hates alot of things.

sex and the city,

most kinds of seafood,,

fair-weather friends,

your mother.

but one thing I've never developed disdain for has been the snow.

mostly because it's never pissed me off much.

a lot of that gas been built around the notion that there wasn't too many hard winters before leaving home and when I did, it was the landlord's job.

I've only had to dig the car out and that in the worst snow is no great shakes if you don't care about getting anywhere.

but I have to get the blue roller-skate out of the garage and I expect some fresh hell when I get there.

so today might be the day.

but I'll no doubt blame it on the asshole lawyer who rents the garage next to me and the snow will get a free pass.

i'm magnanimous that way.

—the bastard

this just in...

...special obvious edition

it

frikkin'

came

down

hahd, last night.

—the bastard

dearest fhills…

…up yours



now don't cry baby.

it's not all your fault.

but the bastard has to tell you off.

you see,



all I wanted to do after a long drive in the shit was to park and go back home.

but no,

I had to dig a snow bank out of my way.

it's not your fault baby. the bastard is just tired.

shoveling tons of wet snow can do that to a man.

—the bastard

buried alive

you know…


it's times like this that the bastard finds the need to call bullshit on the global warming…er…climate change…er…moving the goal post movement.

although it is pretty, my block is buried and subsequently, my car.

but it'll still be pretty until I get a ticket for being unable to move the car.

then my hate will be great.



now to the digging of the snow. and me without my shovel.

—the bastard

snowpocalypse now

the bastard is a he won't believe until he sees it sort of guy.

unless it has to do with me getting my goddam rocket pack.

i still believe it's coming.

that said, when i heard that it was gonna snow.

and it seemed to miss us last two times (ish).

and i told my ladyfriend that i'll believe it when i see it.

and when i woke up this morning,

feeling old,

and there it is.

all over the place. and now i have to go to a photoshoot in connecticutt.

in all of this shit.

the horror.

the

horror.

—the bastard

dig

the bastard is tired.

spent today digging out the car.

it wasn't as bad out today as it was last night.

and it'll be worse when this stuff freezes.

it's like frikkin lead.

—the bastard

a walk in the white

there's a short list of things that can shut down thus city.

a big assed snow storm is one of those things.

so at one in the morning, the bastard decided to take advantage of the time to survey the damage.

actually, there has been a rash of busted windows on our block so the bastard wanted to make sure that he was going to write about the snow and not how some junky from the thriving methadone clinic down the block from us didn't bust my window and take the shovel out of the trunk to sell on Astor place tomorrow.

but, all car business aside, it's bad out there.

not buffalo, new York bad but, new york yuppy bad.

the kids out partying were stranded.

fighting over cabs that couldn't get out of the damn snow anyway.

the bastard will never know if some jerk named brandon ever got up from the frozen tundra to help his female traveling companions hail a cab that'll never come on 2nd ave.

the bastard doesn't care.

he just knows that his car is safe for now encased in a foot of snow.

and people he has disdain for who are fucking stranded.

and that on some level fills him with the christmas spirit.

deck the halls with some jackass

fa la la la la

la la la la jerks!

—the bastard

simple...

today was supposed to be our first snowfall of the year.

and it was in a fashion.

the bastard thought of moments that really exist in the back of his brain now of a time when snow wasn't a pain in the ass to deal with.

which more or less was when I was a kid.

and I pictured that knowing full well that I was gonna get grey shit and salt on the road.

but, it's nice to think about a simpler time,

while waiting for bullshit at the entrance to the midtown tunnel to clear up.

hoping like he'll your daughter doesn't wake up freaking out that she's in that frikkin carseat again.

hmmmmm. to simpler times.

—the bastard

it snowed last night

...and into today and this afternoon.

apparently it did all the way up the eastern seaboard.

so, you've learned nothing new.

screw you.

—the bastard

...on a cold winter's evening

you know,

sometimes the bastard gets spoiled.

take last winter for instance.

I don't think it was this cold bit,

here we are,

freezing our collective asses off.

come across numerous people who are "done" with winter and I have to tell you,

you ain't.

it's part of our culture to complain about the weather.

it's one of the last bastions of politically correct complaint.

oh well. got to hell.

-the bastard

it snowed last night

...so i took the train

and I took some pix on park avenue.

and some more on third. what do you want, a frikken novel every night? go to hell.

-the bastard

...on the weather

snowing out today.

and me without the right footwear.

i usually wear my moto boots as they are made of leather and goretex.

but they still smell like gasoline.

i hope it lets up before the end of the day.

—the bastard