Thursday, September 22, 2005

...on inconvenience

...or how construction gave me a decent night's sleep


it's fascinating. The bastard came home from picking up the boy from school on monday afternoon to find that all of the metered spots on metropolitan were to be no parking from 6pm to 6am due to road construction. this spelled out a rough night for me on monday. but it did work out for me on tuesday. on monday i had dinner with mr and mrs ice cream. their son is the boy's best friend. we'll call him corey because of his great love of corey feldman's character in the goonies. corey will probably think otherwise after seeing "license to drive" allthough he was alot of fun in "the lost boys". anyway. mr ice cream makes frozen desserts for owner of the restaurant, i replied , "at least that dump has something good on the menu". mr. ice cream retorted that, "danny seems like a nice guy but then again, i don't have to live next door to him". and that's true. but it reminded me of a weird dream i had the other night. you see jack black was going to perform at the restaurant and danny asked me if i was going. i knew it was a dream because he doesn't know my name. i think he called me asshole once when i mucked with his christmas decorations one evening but that's about it. either way, i remember wanting to see jack perform but i wasn't going on principal. danny asked why and i said, "you're an inconsiderate neighbor but, that isn't even the case anymore. you're clientele is". then, i woke up. i realized that my hatred has transcended from the owner to the clientele and to a lesser degree, the karaoke guy. you see, he brings the equipment and he holds the mike. he could tell these middle aged idiots to keep it down on the way out. he has the power. the bastard's new theory was reinforced tuesday night by the construction. no one could park on the street on tuesday night either. thus no one made a sound walking to their cars. no one honked their horns because they were parked in front of houses or just too far away to get props for honking their horns. i fell right to sleep right after the music stopped and the bastard was calm for a change. they should do construction every tuesday night. the bastard would be less angry. it's a shame i didn't get to see jack black perform though.

—the bastard

6 comments:

bigbromofo said...

was he doing tenaciuos d's greatest hits.

get the dob after him for violations. use the man, the system against karoke guy.

find out if Con Ed, DEP or Verizon need to do work after the street ios repaved. that means more constrcution but i do not know if it will be on tuesday.

the biggest and the platiest

bastard central said...

nah, it was really vague. in fact the dream didn't re-occur to me until i was talking to the ice cream man the next day

i've done the dep and they are just under the decibel level. so it's annoying but legal.

utilitys are doing work during the day to take advantage of the torn up street. kind of efficient actually.

bigbromofo said...

too bad. usually the street gets nice new asphalt and the next crew comes in.

bastard central said...

we do things a little slower in craptastic queens

bigbromofo said...

is tha tan elton john album

capatin craptastic ...

bastard central said...

actually it came from a mxim article about the best beer hall in new york city being in craptastic queens. i took offense and have adopted it as my own