...or searching for a ground, with my good eye closed
well the conversation still moves forward on the pros and cons of selling out and then the elder brother chimes in with a poignant point:
not to hit on a favorite band subject especially since it was beaten to death a few blogs ago, but some feel that metallica sold out when they got a major label, some after the video, some after the black album, some after they cut their hair, etc.
you know, it's funny that you bring up metallica. the bastard was watching this documentary about the seattle scene last night and there was this kid outside of a pearl jam/soundgarden show (also there was a sound check version of "searching with my good eye closed" going on). and he's standing there in all of his teenage glory with braids and earplugs shoved up his nose saying, "i'm pissed. i'm pissed because i heard 'em first".
the bastard gets the feeling that love for a band is not about the band's skills so much as it is about how the band makes you feel about yourself at the time and selling out is not about the band making a buck, it's about how you no longer feel that way or the band no longer makes you feel that way. i'm kind of like that about audioslave. i love the way cornell sings. but now that the bastard is no longer a child, i have put childish things away and i can't be in love with his sound anymore. it doesn't make me feel like something new is washing over me for the first time. i felt it last night listening to him singing "searching..." in that haunting monotone he does and for a minute, i was new again. i had my hair in the wind again. i was more innocent.
then the scene changed, the music stopped and there the bastard was on the floor..doing situps...less innocent than he was than when he was a kid. a little bit older and with more important things on his mind than he had when he was younger. damn, i wish i had that feeling back again. stupid old man, is it to the sky?