Thursday, December 22, 2005

...on trees

you wouldn't know it but the bastard's brother known as the mofo, is in town this week and the visit has been quite good. no one has been killed yet, and all is right in the hizouse. he came in straight out the bag and calle din his dinner order from baltimore at 2 saying he'd be in by 5 and sure as hell, the mofo shows up ready for his regulation hamburger and hot dog which has been the saturday dish in the house since the bastard was a child and the mofo was in the womb. there's something inherently insane about having the same sinner on wednesday and sunday for your entire life. i'll expound about the family diseases at another time.

but i digress, the mofo rolled in and mentioned the song that was playing on the mo-mobile en route. that song was "i am a tree" by guided by voices. now we have discussed the merits of guided by voices at length but the bastard doesn't see any reason why we can't continue to beat that horse. anyway, the point that the mofo brought up about "i am a tree" was the song begs the age old question about a tree falling in the woods. the point that the mofo brought up was (especially since gimpy asked us who gbv was) if the greatest rock and roll band exists and no one hears them, are they still the greatest rock and roll band? the bastard says yes. i don't want to know what you say.

—the bastard


You know who! said...

Freudian slip? Are you still having sinners on Wednesday and Sunday? Does the Pope know? He's about to beat you with his incense amulet.

bastard central said...

yes we are having sinners on wednesday and sundays at ché bastard. and they are sacrilicious. if the pope tries to hit me with his incense amulet, i'll have to counter with an ali style rope-a-dope and follow up with a quick dwarf toss into the jesus christ locker


bigbromofo said...


We have had the same dinners every Monday (Prince spaghetti day) except for the third Monday (fucking meatloaf), and pizza fridays every other week when Uncle John, Uncle Abe, Uncle Ed, Uncle Dave, Uncle Rudy and Uncle Mike signed the check. London broil and chicken on Sundays during the summer and roast beef during the winter. You probably don't remember the bunson honeydew porterhouse while we had hamburgers over adams flowers or the veal parmesian hero while we had pizza.

As the STones would say ...Sucking in the Seventies

Dub plat

bastard central said...

i remember it all dub. gin hasn't addled my brain so much that i can't remember the "schedule". i also remember the liver he had when we had chicken because chicken groosed him out. but liver? that's bloody gross

jimmy3000 said...

The greatest band in the histor of Rock with some of the most incredible moments in recording history with much of it punched directly into a fucking boom box.
No one in rock has the balls to do that shit! 'cept GBV.

Any band that calls Rolling Stone a bullshit rag for putting Joan Jett over Pete Townsend in the all-time most bad-ass players gets add-props and they think the Beach Boys are a bunch of asshoze (I haz bean sayin' dat fo' yeaz!)

and don't forget the Robert Pollard instant classic "Relaxation of the Asshole" for more tasty shit.

bastard central said...

for more tasty....

well played 3k. now you need to go update