Tuesday, December 06, 2005

the trenchcoat marches east...

...across 33rd street, shiteyes

7th avenue:
dear mta, thanks for taking the urine smell out of my exit. for a change i did NOT throw up in my mouth a little.

5th avenue:
to the lady in starbucks who ordered the vente triple skim no foam gumma se gam with an extra shot of some crap. do you actually think that you need to order something that verbose. shut the hell up! besides, i know that they rerun sex in the city on tuesday and wednesday nights on tbs and all but could you just dial down the kim cattrall routine a bit? men in media only found her sexy because she was the only one having sex on the show not because that look was actually working. could you be more pretensious? i know it's been done to death how people in this country can't just drink coffee but, why can't people just drink coffee. it works for old europe and don't all new yorkers want to be like them. otherwise we wouldn't order calamari as "gadda mahd" and say crap like "quassaunt". oh and could it kill you to hold the door? my hands are full.

park avenue:
tall guy, do you really need to stop in the middle of traffic? you're a big guy and now you're in the way. pause...pause...pause...and go. plan your route shiteyes, i did. go drink coffee now. coffee with milk and two sugars....jerk

—the bastard

quick addendum: 9:09AM to the jackass who gave me my coffee this morning. as much as i "love" a quarter inch of grinds at the bottom of the cup....i don't. just because the shit is free because it bought a pound doesn't mean that you need to pour me a cup of shit. mother of twelve bastards, i hope that you mother 12 bastards in your time. and i hope they all break your heart. jerk.


bigbromofo said...

decaf baby, decaf!

go to dunkin donuts!

its calla ma, pra shute, mutz a rel....what type of irishman are you.

bad day at black rock hunh

bastard central said...

decaf is like drinking point 5 beers, fucking pointless

dunkin donuts is not on my way to the office and as i mihgt have said on other occasions, i fucking hate their coffee. it always tastes like it's stale (and that's when i buy a pound). i buy from the green circle of evil because it is convenient and i like the darker roasts. dunkin has two kinds of roasts: breakfast blend with crap tasting arabica beans and wack assed fruity flavored arabica beans. just a preference, i wish that the dallis brothers coffee roasters was on my way to work. they have different regions and different roast but when do i get down to richmond hill anymore.

dude, you need to get off of that rock before you start wearing gold chains and track suits.

not a bad day, just awake enough to observe and record


bigbromofo said...

no track suits for me, jeans and harley shirts. ill show these guineas a thing or three

bigbromofo said...

who wants to be old world european. so we can complain about rude americans

..she's so european (Unmasked)

The album before unmasked

bastard central said...

i'm just talking about how we as americans come from a rich pioneer heritage full of people with a lot of balls to come across the ocean and then some more for moving west by horse. we have rich culinary traditions but folks on the coasts (and i get just as guilty as the next one) fall into this europhile like behavior that takes over their persona. on the same token we also come from a rich immigrant culture so the bastard should shut the hell up. ida know, there's got to be a line in the sand somewhere.

oh and there are those who complain about rude americans, except they call them white trash. anything that isn't metropolitan is repugnant to some. it's a load of bull