Wednesday, March 22, 2006

...on monkey porn

...or you'll have to send a wrecking crew after me

so on sunday the bastard was in the park with the boy braving the no sun having cold park. honestly, i think that somethings going on. now the bastard is no scienttist (batman is a scientist) but, i think we're seeing a shift in seasons. i think the earth's axis has moved a little bit thus extending winter into april. the bastard will get back to you when he receives his scientician degree off of the back of the cereal box. i only need one more proof of purchase and mine will come with a holographic spongebob official seal on it.

anyway, the bastard is speaking with the mofo by special secret satellite uplink at this point and we're discussing the latest bit of family politics when mo breaks topic to tell me that i need to start listening to the arctic monkeys because they rock. i retort that he needs to listen to the new pornographers because they in fact also rock.

now i've had many conversations with jimmy 3000 about how he needed to belt his nephew in the mouth when he told him that nirvana invented punk rock. and this always launched us into conversations about how music hasn't had anything original in a great while but i have to say that both of these bands have enough hook to reel you in but have enough crunch that'll let you keep the illusion of street cred that you thought you had. it's like 70's three chord went on a blind date with 80's rock to see a john waters movie and gave birth to these acts. it's a tasty but familiar diversion in an already very familiar sounding music scene not that i have anything against franz ferdinand or anything.

anyway, i popped it on a cd to bring to the office so i can give dj paulie brooklyn a taste. he comes back to my desk satisfied at the sounds he hears and hands me my cd saying, "here's your monkey porn".

—the bastard

8 comments:

mofo said...

First off, and you can ask mom or the ex I had the theory about the season shift for many years, in fact I was kicking that theory back in the '90's when it was considered heresy, although mom says the weather hasn't been right since we landed on the moon. Either way you look at it, maybe we should get our heads out of our collective asses and start working on this enviornment of ours, before the planet hawks us up like a big giant lugey. This is a call to all, political affiliation be damned.

Second, Robert Pollard is indeed a scientist.

Merry said...

I'm a bit of a music illiterate, so I shouldn't comment about things I know not of, but I really like both of those groups (monkey porn, haha)

There's a new guy in the office who keeps giving me music. So far, Temple of the Dog, Blues Traveler, Pure Cajun, Soundgarden, Mickey Hart, and Page and Plant (I feel so enlightened). This morning, Big Head Todd and the Monsters. I like 'em.

Do you think that if we went back to the moon, we could set things right again? or perhaps we'll just have to go with what the universe has in store for us and evolve?

bastard central said...

mo,

your tombstone will read. here lies the mofo.

"i know"

bastard central said...

merry,

i think this is just a natural progression. global warming doesn't have anything to do with the axis moving. i had read soemthing in the times a while back that the earth's axis has shifted by a couple degrees over the last couple thousand years so we'll just start celebrating spring later. it'll really screw up the wedding industry. not that i'm worried about that.

soundgardens best pre-dates "super unknown". "louder than love" is my favorite by them. i'm just glad that there is stuff out there that sounds decent these days

mofo said...

If you read this blog long enough you'll learn of many more bands you should be listening to.

Evolution is a good idea, but certain in this country don't believe in that so only some of us can do it, the rest will have to chill at the cro-magnon level for a while. It would be nice for our enviornmental policy to evolve.

True, Louder Than Love is there truest sounding record, but peek Badmotofinger for "Outshined" what a killer track.

Yeah, and it only took 10 years for musice to figure out it was bad, thank goodness for this post-post-post punk explosion.

bastard central said...

i'm not saying outshived isn't a dope track. i'm just saying that louder is my favorite. there are those that feel that ultramega OK is the jam.

nothing like a good post-post-post punk explosion to keep you regular

mofo said...

I think it would be better if the song was called "Outshived" as you misspelled, then it could be about someone shiving someone better than that person who shived them, like in prison.

bastard central said...

you know, it had occured to me that i misspelled "outshined" as "outshived" after i posted the comment but, the name sounded so capable of being made fun of i decided to let it stand. i guess bear baiting works

—b