Friday, January 05, 2007

...on last minute packing

...and how gun shows are sucking the life out of me

this'll be the bastard's fifth trip to the gun show. this will be my second one in orlando. the bastard isn't happy about it. it's not as much fun as vegas. anyway as we prepare for the final packing of the junk left hand rob sends the note around:

lhr: Here's what I'll be shipping to SHOT Show this afternoon. Is there anything else either of you want to go?

Style sheet
Printer paper (our man in moscow is ordering for on-site)
A pencil sharpener
legal pads
paper clips
Issues of last year's Daily
The last few months of Lots O' Bullets Monthly
FedEx slips

bastard: bombay sapphire gin (6 bottles)
case of tonic water
high grade heroin (no china white, that stuff's for squares)
carton of cigarettes.
ammunition for a crosman nightstalker plus crimson trace laser sight
enough rope to hang ourselves
pinewood box for art director

lhr: I can get all that stuff at Staples, right?

bastard: maybe.

but you might have to go through channels.

you might have some difficulty with the rope :/

yes, while i'm starting to ramp up my sense of humor for this trip, i seem to be ramping up the malaise (not mayonnaise, jackass) as well. i think
i'll need a bona fide vacation after this. but don't worry, i think we will be posting photos of orlando's best and brightest mullets. it's what scoop would have wanted.

—the bastard


mofo said...

Just press the easy button.

Oh, and by the way let's let everyone know how you waited for the last minute to inform me that in fact the shot show that is normally in Febuary and was the last time we talked about it—I believe that was the camping trip in October—was the weekend of Jan12, the same weekend I will be leaving Florida (about 2hours southwest of Orlando) for NYC for Judge Roughneck's 30th birthday superbash and obligatory dr.'s appointment. It's no big thing, it happens but Airplanes and I were putting odds on how long it would take for you to tell me, after he got off the phone to remind you to tell me of the change. A phone call I was present for with my have drunk guiness in front of me and K thrilla looking on.For the record that was Wednesday, 12/20, you told me—after a late morning call from airplanes, where he checked status—on 12/24 on the ride to the tree of stash. I'm not bringing this up to rail you, I bring it up because I think its hilarious.

I'm disapointed airplanes and I can't meet up and tear Orlando a new one—which we would have done—but more than anything else I'm dispointed because anytime anyone I know comes within reasonable driving distance of my circle of hell, there is always a failure to hook up and get me out of my Florida malaise (again, not mayonaise you jackass), even if has been only a week since I spent time in NYC. Anyway, if business doesn't pick up down here Nemo is going to have to steer this ship alone quicker than i thought he would.

Anyone looking for an experienced electrician/writer/metaphysician?

Anonymous said...

do you take requests for mullets? it's been a realll long time since i've seen a decent femmullet. try to get one w/ feathers.