Tuesday, January 22, 2008

...on star spotting

so the bastard is coming upstairs with his lunch and he's stuck behind some character who looked an awful lot like christian bale and was wearing the latest in velvet collared jacket goodness to i don't know:

a: it's the style among business types b: he works at a hotel as a bellhop and he forgot his bellhop hat c: he's a dick and i hate him

anyway, as we pulled up to the bastard noticed rather than getting out of my way he was
texting on his crackberry.

texting on his crackberry.

texting on his crackberry.

so i ahem

asked him to move in the most gravelly voice possible.

in passing i noticed that he looked way too much like christian bale.

so i told him, "hey, i loved you in american psycho" (because why the fuck would i like him in batman returns).

then the doors closed.

and i went somewhere to eat my sammich.

and he went somewhere,

to rot.

—the bastard


tim said...

if it was, him maybe he was texting to someone about his co-star in the coming "dark knight" dying in his apartment. If that was indeed the case he would have had every right to get get you stone drunk, take you back to his apartment and explain to you the virtue of Huey Lewis and the News while taking an ax to you.

bastard central said...

well you know what they say

it's hip to be square