bastard: hey boss, can you do me a favor?
chairman: sure. what's up
bastard: hang on a sec
bastard: ok, i thought i was gonna need to you to come down to the bus stop and bring a bat but they turned left
bastard: well these kids were yelling at me from their car and i yelled "your mom's back to them. then they made a u turn but, it looks like they decided to head to 7-11 instead. i thought, i'd have to get stabby and you'd have to bail me out of jail tonight.
chairman: you know bastard, you really don't have to yell "your moms" at every car that drives past you
bastard: but they yelled at me first
bastard: and they called me a faggot.
chairman: well maybe you should stop blowing dudes in the bus stop then
bastard: sure, but there's alot of rough trade here in the bus stop, i couldn't help myself.
while saying this, the 3 old ladies and the two teenage grand daughters in the bus stop next to me look on horrified at the bastard's talk of bus stop sex and stabbing teenagers. they shuffle over 3 feet.
i haven't been back to the old hoof since august really and i'm on the ground in the FoHi less than 90 minutes and shit ensues.
quick sidebar: when you (and the bastard means YOU) yell out a moving car at the bastard, you will here one of five responses. these responses are generated at random so, not even i will know which one will come out at any given time but they are as follows in no particular order:
- go to hell
- you suck at life
- your moms
- go fuck yourself
- go die jerkface
anyway, the bastard begins to get the feeling that the kids can smell that i'm not from around anymore
even though i haven't changed the way i dress or walk or act since leaving the thorough borough for the island of misfit fashionistas and off world jackasses. it's hard fucking work keeping it real on this rock.
it's also been forever since i've been on a train as well. and it was kind of refreshing in a way. i miss this kind of travel. you don't get alot of color in a 10 minute on foot commute to the office.
allthough there is this crazy lady i've noticed who stops anyone with a stroller to beg for money on 3rd avenue and she needs to stop it.
i need to get out more.
get the street beneath my feet.