this just in...

we are soooooo fucked when we go alien

—the bastard

...on teh sads

the bastard is very sad.

somewhere in des moines, iowa,

a lot of people had a alot of bacon.

and the bastard did not.

that is very much with teh sads.

—the bastard

snowpocalypse now

the bastard is a he won't believe until he sees it sort of guy.

unless it has to do with me getting my goddam rocket pack.

i still believe it's coming.

that said, when i heard that it was gonna snow.

and it seemed to miss us last two times (ish).

and i told my ladyfriend that i'll believe it when i see it.

and when i woke up this morning,

feeling old,

and there it is.

all over the place. and now i have to go to a photoshoot in connecticutt.

in all of this shit.

the horror.

the

horror.

—the bastard

...on urges

the bastard saw this last week.

and it hasn't failed to make me wonder if I have to go to the bathroom.

—the bastard

this week in anime

now the bastard has been watching gundam since around 1980.

and I've seen some good sequels.

and I've seen some crap sequels.

I mean if your going to have a series franchise for 30 plus, you're bound to have some stinkers.

and when sunrise announced a series called "unicorn gundam", the bastard was a little skeptical.


but this was ambitious.

really fucking ambitious.

well animated and decently written, it was more premiere than I had hoped for.

the bastard looks forward to the rest of the story unfolding.

—the bastard

be here now

still life of two old friends perhaps.

come on.

the bastard can't be mean all the time. it's hard goddam work you know.

—the bastard

...on experience

saw this on saturday on my way east.

if this publishing thing doesn't pan out, the bastard can join their winning team.

the guy drove like experience wasn't a problem either.

goddam chucklehead

—the bastard

...on beatings

the bastard got laid out this weekend.

everyone is one fucking handwash,

one shared drink,

one diaper change,

away from a weekend of sickness.

and that was the beating I took this weekend.

that my family took this weekend.

at some point, my ladyfriend, on day behind me on the gastroenteritis highway asked me when she'll feel better.

I told her now. and she didn't know why she could walk upright like I did yesterday.

I told her it's because the bastard can take a beating.

—the bastard

this hell is real...

...and it is now.

—the bastard

...on tributes

so, the bastard has this friend that he knew long ago but knows again because of the virus.

he puts out an apb.

asks if anyone is interested in going to the Brooklyn bowl with him yo see the all girl judas priest cover band.

judas priestess.

I pipe up how this would be tempting but. I passed.

flash forward: Sunday night, the bastard walks 23rd street after taking the train and walking east.

I live by this venue.

and the band playing is Lez Zeppelin.

which in my mind could only be a lesbian led zeppelin tribute band.

I mention this to my ladyfriend and she asks if i am going to see them.

I told her I'd pass.

figuring I'd feel out of place.

however that said, the female tribute bands of classic rock standards is a thing the bastard can get behind.

however, I find it hard to picture anyone other than plant screaming, "shake for me girl, i wanna be your back door man".

—the bastard

...on habits

the bastard is beginning to think that his robot problem may be getting out of hand.

—the bastard

...on light rail and text messaging

bastard: is everything ok? I had a dream in which we got lost in the st Louis subway system.

thing of it is

st Louis doesn't have a subway system.

the elder: hunh

bastard: just stating what happened is all

the elder: okay

bastard: so your not going to st Louis. ok? they have a light rail and neither the subway or the light rail go to cardinal's stadium which was what busch stadium was called in the dream

the elder: Unless you are telling me that I am going to atlantic yards

bastard: mayhap. the other anomaly was that the st Louis subway was huge and akin to an ugly grand central station that used big diesel trains so...

perhaps

the elder: If I go then will go halves on lotto

bastard: deal

—the bastard