now the bastard minces no words about this,
I haven't had a merry christmas in a long long time.
I mean sure, I have a good time on Christmas day and it's great to be around family but a series of factors have come to play that prevent the whole damn season from making my grinch like heart swell up to last ten minutes of said cartoon sized proportions.
by the by, Lon chaney was the fucking man in the grinch who stole Christmas. I could listen to that guy read the obituary page any day of the week.
but I digress, ever since I became an adult, with adult responsibilities, and started producing the daily, and since my son moved across the country, it's been a little hard.
now it's mostly been the daily's fault as it cuts into the season so no one should take it personally, it just keeps my head out of the holidays and when it's done, I feel so tired that I can't get into it.
I also haven't had a proper Christmas tree since 2005 I think. perhaps I faked it in 2006 but I can't remember.
but yesterday, we bought this little bush at the trader joes and now it feels a little bit like Christmas.
and that's ok.
you see, I was having a conversation with a friend the other night and we were talking about some heavy shit he has going on in his life and on the ride home, I felt really lucky.
I complain alot to the almighty or the sky or whatever the hell is going on up there about shy in my life and it's merely just contextual to my mental problems at the time so I realize how unimportant it can be in the face of greater stuff. and I could get fired tomorrow
I feel lucky. and I have a goddam Christmas tree of sorts.
and that's something. take that mental problems.