Wednesday, July 24, 2013

...on the voices in your head on the van wyck expressway

the boy: i think it would be pretty cool to have a split personality

the bastard: no you don't.

the boy: i do. i think it would be cool

the bastard: son, you don't want multiple personality disorder

the boy: why not?

the bastard: look, i know that you think multiple personality is , you're a mild mannered accountant by day and in a stressful situation, a switch goes off in your head and you become a super powered being with black ops super powers...

the boy: yes. that would be cool...

the bastard: i know but my understanding, multiple personality disorder (and i could be wrong) is less like that and more like the boy is having an argument in his head

the boy: oh?

the bastard: yes, and boy#1 is convinced that there are cobras in the sink. boy#2 thinks boy#1 is wrong and he makes the case that there aren't cobras in the sink but, there are spiders in the sink. and boy#3 thinks that boy#1 and boy#2 are full of crap and that the president of the reverse vampires have snuck nano machines into the water supply

the boy: oh, that's not cool

the bastard: right, and all the while boy#4 is in fact in control of the boy and is trying to shove real cobras and real spiders down his kitchen sink at a dinner party with 20 of his closest friends.

the boy: hrm. but it would be cool to have black ops super powers though

—the bastard

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