"like a dog lying in the corner
they bite you without a warning, lookout
—pulp"
once upon a time…
Chicago jerkface told me a story about his brother the filmmaker…
he used to deliver pizza in a car with a bumper sticker on it he made himself that read…
"fuck with me and find out"
so one night, the filmmaker is doing his rounds…
and some guy has been following him all over shytown…
he makes a left…
this guy makes a left…
he makes a right…
well, I'll save you the trouble. you get it.
eventually, he pulls over on the side of the road and this guy stops as well and gets out of the car…
the filmmaker asks him what his problem is…
he gets in his face and yells, "I'm finding out!"
some days this is my commute.
tonight, the sebbentrain was all kinds of crowded and this is sometimes my lot…
so I accept this as the known quantity and squeeze in…
I've gotten good at it.
last night a man who was shaped like a bowling pin nearly popped my arm out of its socket with his girth alone…
but this is the price one pays to live on stop into the liquid city.
tonight, I'm running especially late…
southam is going on vacay tomorrow and the wife is having a girls night out and I'm in an important meeting so I get to running home.
greeting crowded train I say to myself as I pull a few of my heisman trophy earning moves together on the sebben…
as I mill on I feel a hand lightly touch my back…
this turns into a push…
which turns into a shove…
which turns into the bastard quickly grabbing this hand and twisting it quickly to one side…
which turns into a small Asian woman taking her hand back and I'm sure she was:
A: glad to have her hand back
B: surprised as hell that the big bald guy could snatch his hand behind himself and foil such jackassery
I'd like to think that going forward, she may think better of such foolishness but I fear that too many folks are working their lizard brain when they get on that train.
—the bastard
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