overheard on the subway

on these frikkin' humid days i can never seem to get any relief. even when the temperature is down, the humidity is always there like some idiot you've been on a chain gang with who won't stop talking to you about his girl ginny lou all damn day. and even if you escape the chain gang, there stupid humidity is, stuck to your leg making shit hard on you. thank god there is a number 6 train though, it's a big ole refrigerator for the commuter ready to put you on ice and ship you up to some alien landing strip in the bronx so that you can take part in some recipe from the to serve man cookbook (what the hell are you doing on new years day besides watching the twilight zone marathon, jerkface?)fortunately, the bastard avoids certain delicious alien doom by getting off at 53rd and lex.

but i digress. i was on the number 6 train and these two young ladies i will called "anguished" and "english" were in the car with me. anguished is dismayed because, "damn i gawta go tah brooklun tomorrow". and english replied that, "while you were hit-en the bitch you shoulda stolt her shit". anguished later brings up a mutual friend of hers named lynn. english puts forth the poignant query, "where am lynn be at?" now call me an elitist bastard (go on, call me one) but, i have to wonder if the teachers are doing their job. but it transcends that. how did language arrive at this destination in the rougher parts of town? i'm curious. is this a result of forced idiotic talk to buck the system? ida know. i was just astounded that someone so young obviously had to appear in court in brooklyn tomorrow for assaulting someone and her friend told her she should have robbed her while she was at it. it's just sad. sad because for one reason or another, these two chucklehads may or may not have willed them selves towards a life that will always be less than what it could have been.

—the bastard

ps: this was one of the few times i felt the need to use the spell check. maybe i'm none the better, or am i?