panic on the streets of richmond.....

panic on the streets of birmingham

—smiths

robbo asked me to throw down on this one ("you need to comment on this in your blog- you need to!!!!"). robbo is funny. one of my favorite ideas guys. he has more great story ideas than you can shake a stick at but i don't think he wants to be a writer. instead he manages dead peoples money. less grief that way (come on! their dead for god's sake, can't i buy myself a bentley, their DEAD!!!). robbo is the bastard's second oldest friend so we've been at this crap since we were 6.

anyway, so this apple store in richmond virginia is giving away old iBooks for fifty bucks and a stampede starts over it. what can you say? well for starters, what the hell? where the hell is my fifty dollar laptop. oh waitaminute, jimmy3000 sold me one a ways back and it still runs 3k. either way, i think the quotable quote here comes from one brandine alexander what the hell kind of name is brandine? who the hell names their kid brandine? the barrister who is also an old friend of the bastards one time told me a strory about some time he spent in ROTC in louisiana a while back and he spent time at this shall we say, poor and urban hospital. some of the more well to do volunteers were working in the maternity wing recommending names like "si-fi-lus" and "gahnoria" to these poor uneducated women who were being cared for there. but i digress, "I've never been in something like that before, and I never again will," said BRANDINE, who brought her 14-year-old twin boys to the complex at 4:30 a.m. to wait in line. "No matter what the kids want, I already told them I'm not doing that again." look chuckles, i hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you are going to get up at 4:30 in the morning in the stinking hot heat of the south (stinking hot heat. go back and read abouth the road trip shiteyes) to buy broke ass computers, your gonna do it again when the next bargain comes along. now i'm sure this is one of those situations in which a couple of bad apples started a miniature LA riots over second hand laptops but come on be civil you frikkin jerks. all i hear out of the lowe is how "new york is so rude" and "everyone is so much more well behaved" not in new york. now to be fair, the lowe isn't the only person who tells me these things but at the end of the day, maybe the rest of the country isn't much better when it comes down to it. i could write more but i need a drinky and i have to get up early to take pictures of guns upstate in the morning so back off!

—the bastard