Monday, October 17, 2005

open your head to me...stupid

...or on celebrity part deux

so the bastard's stomach is grumbling waiting for go time. to the gyro stand where jerkface wants to go for food. i could use the walk seeing as it's across town. but what should the bastard's wandering eye should see but this little gem from the drudge report(cut and paste before it goes away:

MADONNA WARNS: ALL WILL GO TO HELL IF DON'T TURN FROM WICKED BEHAVIOR; 'MOST PRIESTS ARE GAY'

**Exclusive Details**

The former Material Girl now believes "the beast is the modern world that we live in!"

"The material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing," Madonna explains in her new documentary film, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET.

In the movie, which will premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City on Tuesday, Madonna warns how people "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior."

The singer, who is also promoting the upcoming release of her new music CD, declares: "Most priests are gay."

"I refer to an entity called 'The Beast'. I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now. To me 'The Beast' is the modern world that we live in."


now don't get me wrong. the bastard is probably going to hell. in fact, it's more than likely. perhaps i'm in hell already? but that is a discussion for the existentialists (god exists and he's dead....and he was short). but the day we as a people should entertain the idiotic endtime musings of detroits favorite fake british accent may be in and of itself a sign of the apocalypse. the bastard finds it fascinating at what celebrity will say to america to get your attention when they have something new to promote. does only the bastard see that katie holmes is pregnant with tom cruise's baby just in time for both "batman begins" and "war of the worlds" to come to video? i'm sure that's not the case but it's something worth mentioning. anyway, no doubt madonna's base will get out there to see her wack ass kicking and screaming fit as she descends into her own her that is cultural irrelavence. here's to hoping that she takes a few other 14:59 mother grabbers with them. when you call my name it's like a little aaaaaaahhh shuddup!

i'm going to tell you a secret dear....your time is up. it's just a shame that you wrecked your husbands ability to rock a fantastic caper film.

—the bastard

3 comments:

mofo said...

In total agreement with the severing of Guy Ritchie's balls, but is she Catholic again, cause when it comes to any form of Judaism (which Kaballah is a part of whether they want to admit it or not)hell is not an option, nor is heavan. Shit, people are now just trying on religon's anyway, which one makes me the coolest-- is it Hinduism or the 3rd church of the Second Day First Babtists?

You know I hear there is a religous gang war going on in LA between the Scientologists and the Kaballahists-I'm not joking. Word is that members of these religons cut off ties to those who do not believe in their dogma. Maybe that's why movies have gotten so bad.

Religous fanaticism is out of control, sometimes I fell like I'm running back to Coney trying to avoid the Baseball Furies--I mean,shit people,I didn't kill Cyrus! (That was in honor of 'The Warriors" DVD coming to a store of your choosing tomorrow).

When are people finally going to come to grips with the fact that yes, we are an accident, either that or a poorly scripted sitcom.
Anyway, you seeing what you get when you mess with mofo!

bastard central said...

well played mofo. i forgot that there is no heaven or hell is judaica. actually we should all go the pre muslim cat stevens route and just get into numerology. oh baby it's a wiild world. and i think it;s the 5th church of the alternating tuesday and thursday baptists. on sundays and mondays, they worship foosbal. fossball is the devil bobby bouchet.

i agree. there is a mafia mentality among these two groups specificly and it's ridiculous. i find it funny that they practice similar blacklisting practices that they railed against under mccarthy (not that i want to open a discussion on him, i'm just too damn tired). it's interesting. maybe that's why all the good shit seems to come from overseas directors (can't wait for king kong with jables and brody) or taratino. no connection to either mafia.

C.I.! the big coney! did you know that and i believe it's today, the warriors video game will be out for all consoles as well? can you dig it? caaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuu diiiiggg iiiiiiiiitt!
well actually according to douglas adams the answer to the meaning of life is "42"

mofo said...

Half of 21, the worst number of all. (That is except for you're wedding and all.)