rome

one time a long short time ago the bastard was talking to uncle joey. uncle joey gets to keep his name because you don't know him so you won't meet him. anyway, uj is well travelled so we're talking about travel, and driving in cities, i think we were ramping up to the big trip to ireland and we were angsting over the whole driving on the left hand side of the road. anyway uj says that's no sweat, "try driving in rome, then you can drive anywhere." uj describes to us that the secret to driving in rome is to point your car at another car and floor it, and pray to god that the guy moves and then when you get to where you need to go in traffic...repeat. travelling home has increasingly become this way as the holiday grows closer. run at someone at full tilt and hope that they aren't there when you get there.

flash forward: bastard finds a seat and he's gotta learn that he needs to sit further away from the door because no matter how menacing i look on my worst days (and this wasn't one of them), someone is going to sit right there. i don't love it, i get back into american gods. when last we left our man, he has just discovered that he's working for odin and thor and kali seem to be along for the ride and what is that annoying banter? great there's two, no waitaminute one of them has a rathr large male friend, he sits down even though he couldn't possibly fit. dammit.

so race bannon is rubbing knees with me and the sisters inane won't stop jibber jabbing. so, i do what any other sane bastard would do, put on music. worked for a while too. then for some reason, the cold and the tired and the bad place i started the day in came on in the form of "fake plastic trees" by radioheadhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif. just in time, i get off the train, chuckleheads a distant memory but then johnny cash singing "hurt" comes up. i love the man in black but, this was neither the time nor the place so i hit the button and i was once again saved by cornershop. wogs will walk got me through the door. nice and smooth but, that's another toon.

—the bastard

QUICK POSTSCRIPT: you know, the bastard would have ended it here but i was thinking about the holidays and how i'm having a hard time getting into it. i was reminded of how i need to get the spirit when i was was talking with ms. cin on the way down 33rd last night and she said that she's starting to get it. i thought, i gotta get on board otherwise this christmas is going to be a total bust. but, it came on tonight while buying something for the boy. his birthday is this week, he shares it with rayne o'brian. i went and picked up his birthday present but when i was in target looking for gimpy i was looking at something that might register special to the boy it came on and the cold, and the tired and the bad place seemed to melt away. it's like catching a damn cold but, better. hear those sleigh bells ringeling, jing jing jingeling, jerkface.