Wednesday, February 01, 2006

just got feet, don't got shoes

...or on the big crunch!

"hey! you wanna see my toe?"

"ewww. k, i don't want to see your gross toe"

"but susie, i broke it last night. it's all black and blue"

"who broke what?", queries the bastard.

"i broke my toe last night, wanna see?", replies the k.

"how'd you manage that?"

"i kicked the toilet."

"didja miss the dog?"

"no but i was trying to clean the dog. it's got long hair. you know, i thought i would be giving up wiping asses when my youngest turns 2."

so this is the perils of dog ownership. the bastard is really glad that all he has is a lizard. ms. cin wants a picture for posterity and the k wants first dibs on showing it to susie kansas. now here's a question for you. how many magazine people does it take to operate a digital camera? answer is three. i can't imagine how many magazine people it would take to screw in a lightbulb. long story short, susie howls with disgust, it makes the k's day. oh well, i guess i have to tie up loose ends. 6 days to vegas. mullets to follow.

—the bastard


Anonymous said...

..ain't no joke--my little shit-kicker broke his foot falling out of my bed Tuesday night--emergency rooms for dogs are fun! Next pet I get is going to be a rock.
Have fun in Vegas baby--stay black!


bastard central said...

always bet on black

bigbromofo said...

okay keenan

it only takes one qualified union electrician to operate a camera and change a light bulb.

dub plat

bastard central said...

actually that was wesley snipes in passenger 57.

i know it only takes one qualified union electrician to do either. but, he has to be paid triple overtime to do either task and he needs at least one required paid 15 minute union break between tasks.


bigbromofo said...

ot is only after their standard 7 hour day adn we only get 1 1/2 due to the contract agrrement. you must be thinking of the plumbers or steamfitters.

dub plat

bastard central said...

no. just the union thugs

bigbromofo said...

the union thugs have to take on the non-union wage reducing thugs and teh big business thugs

dub thug