Sunday, January 29, 2006

...on conspiracies

...or is it just finger licking good?

one time in high school, the bastard was in a history class. the teacher was a man named ed deering who i later found was a bit of a drinker but that's neither here nor there. anyway, ed was talking about vietnam at the time and declaring is his golden monotone that the war was fought over the interests of coca cola and united fruit.

well the bastard was reading this morning's daily news and we came across this photo of palestinians firing off a few rounds in the middle of main street or wherever but, the bastard had noticed a kfc in the background, which i blew up as best as i could. the bastard purports this, maybe palestine is doing what it's doing because of their great love for the colonel. i think we can solve this problem with fried chicken perhaps. or perhaps the bastard should stop drinking in the morning.

—the bastard

9 comments:

bigbromofo said...

did he say that in class, homeroom or chess club? I do believe you are thinking of canavan who said that quote. they were the same height and had the same speech mannerisms and canavan was a wine and cheese man wher deering was definitely a scotch / whiskey hold up the bar type of guy.

bastard central said...

it was deering. i never had canavan. i think he followed up by yelling "witness! witness! mr. rose is on time!"

bigbromofo said...

maybe they went to the same anecdotal history class. i remember canavan or feinstein saying that and maybe i mentioned over wednesday hamburgers and hot dogs and maybe you have become james levy and are parphrasing your history...a million little bastards.

dub plat is back

bastard central said...

dude, you SO have to bone up on your media gossip. that's james FREY who duped the oprah. i prefer the JT Leroy approach to things. i'll pretend i'm a reformed heroin addict drag queen.

besides, when the bastard keeps going to bed at 1AM, continuity is not the order of the day. for all i know, you said it at the dinner table. it's unimportant. what IS important is the threat that the colonel is presenting here. kepp you eye on the ball pal.

—b

bigbromofo said...

the arabs don't like teh extra cripsy, that's teh real issue. nad the soggy mac and cheese.

viva la colonel.

either that or PLO in arabic is KFC.

or as lewis black would say PLO is to terrorists as KFC is to chicken.

get some sleep
dub plat

bigbromofo said...

sorry i dont get oprah simulcast at yonkers raceway. you get the point.

bastard central said...

you know it wasn't until you said viva la colonel that it had occured to me how much the colonel logo looks like che guevara.

you can't fault a third world nation for liking original recipe

can't sleep. clowns will eat me.

—b

bastard central said...

i don't watch oprah, i just read media gossip

bigbromofo said...

bastard

that is whty teh third world is third world....they don't even have extra crispy. no wonder they are so angry.

big bromofo