Saturday, January 28, 2006

...on viewer mail

some time about a month ago, the bastard received a note from his old place of business from the wife of an old co-worker of mine. he was an editor and he had a quirky sense of humor. now an internet magazine doesn't give you as many funny headlines to make fun of as a hunting magazine. at the mag, left hand rob and i have chuckled to many classic headlines that never made it to print like say, "get wet for crappies" and "is there a sheep in your future" and there was the classic hunting column sentence that never made it into print that ran along the lines of, "as i was boning the carcass, i was dreaming about my next hunt". either way, we spent the last few month's of our miserable existence at this rapidly sinking weekly (it was while the bubble crashed) asking each other "who's mindin, the sto". anyway. i received this note from his wife saying she was a fan of the blog. the bastard's first fan aside from jimmy 3000 reading whatever dreck a puked out that day and running down to the old prepress area to tell the daughter of mawg to "log on, the bastard really wound up today". but there you have it. i have a fan. and fans write mail. so among other questions, she had asked me about my choice to lean on the mall.

I love Roosevelt Field mall, by the way. Yes, I love shopping the city more and I hate suburbia as much as i dislike pretentious NYers, but it's my mall. Everyone should just be like me anyway. Or just leave me alone. Either one would work. We've been taking the boys into the city more often and even have been going to lincoln center for these concerts for young people. they enjoy it.

(And you know a fad is really out of style when the kids out in Suffolk start wearing it. Ugg boots have made it out to Suffolk. Ugh, indeed.)

so i started answerring the note but my explanation started to run on into something worth writing about. don't worry fan, i'll finish up the rest of the note and answer the other questions but i need to do a little cut and paste magic at the moment.

oh don't get me wrong fan, i love roosevelt field mall too. the bastard used to hop the n24 on sundays with a friend of mine and hang out there quite often thoughout high school. my lay-ins are based on how i am constantly confounded by the sheep like mentality of people. it's just that sometimes the mall really does have it all. you see one kind of hipster in lower manhattan but in the mall, teenagers are like little gangs in little uniforms for their genre. it's like watching the first 10 minutes of "the warriors" going in there sometimes. here's the heavy metal kids and here are the hip hop kids and here are the metrosexual kids. and over here we have the gang of authenticly gay high school kids (and i can't EVEN begin to wrap my head around what life must be like for them), and here's the chubby girls in uggs and the here comes those goth kids who can't think of anything less original than hanging out outside of hot topic. in lower manhattan you just hav the hipsters and the working class folks. oh and those women who wish that carrie moss would get her own "sex in the city" spin off series which would no doubt be called "sex in the city 2, electric boogaloo". i just think a mall the size of lower manhattan has more of a wealth of material than the L.E.S.

let's not get me started on suffolk county. i don't go out there often but i have to wonder about that distant outpost of humanity. i have family out there who will no doubt be just like the kids i've been making fun of one day. we bastard's have big bones, so they won't look so good in uggs either. on second thought...can't wait!!!

thanks for helping me shake out the bugs. up until now, this was looking like an uncreative weekend. actually, now that i think of it, i'll have to set up an e-mail address to do this again.

—the bastard

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