Sunday, January 22, 2006

in a contest...

...suburbia would win

as i mentioned earlier, the bastard went to see a french movie and eat french food in the lower east side on saturday afternoon. jerkface's other selling point was that we could also experience the wealth of fun making opportunities that comes with seeing the pretentiously dressed and pretensious acting citizens of downtown. you see people watching is a hobby of the bastard's. one time chicago and i were drinking in a bar in las vegas watching people walk past us as we drank and tried to guess what they did for a living or where they were from. it was gintastic. spent the whole night just loudly pointing at people declaring, "l.a., l.a., l.a., kentucky, stripper, stripper, midwest, south, new york, l.a., pretending to be a stripper this weekend, l.a., l.a., l.a." well you get the idea. now i know that by wrote of having your own sense of cultural elitism in these situation is in and of itself a pompous road to a humorless existense but everyone needs a hobby and this is mine so there. besides, i'm sure the bastard is quite the humorous site for the next pontificator anyway.

today, the bastard was spending the remains of his christmas gift certificates at the mall. and let me tell you, they aren't kidding about the mall having it all. in fact if the bastard was to stage a pretensiousness contest between suburbia and the lower east side, i would argue that suburbia wins hands down. now to be fair to the l.e.s., i DID see a middle aged man with ryan seacrest's hair wearing a pair of ugg's on a bicycle and the clincher for me was the woman i saw on my way out of the theatre was in her twenties and was wearing a wig of white hair but, the mall just has a greater concentration of material. lots of uncomfortable kids in uggs. kids dressed as surfers. now i know that new york has it's own surf culture but, to see kids from long island dressed like they were from southern california just makes them look like fucking tourists. well, at least the metalheads still look like metalheads.

—the bastard

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