Monday, May 29, 2006

this just in...

a steroid crazed monster hit his 715th home run yesterday. the hulking beast stands alone at No. 715. he hit the milestone home run with a two-run shot to center field sunday, moving past Babe Ruth into sole possession of second place on the career list behind Hank Aaron. now the bastard generally doesn't pay attention to baseball at all. between umpiring for baseball parents, never being able to get a word in edgewise at the dinner table, and more than one baseball strike in my life time, i don't have alot of love for the game. however someone, albeit someone hopped up on goofballs, breaking babe ruth's record is in fact news. what i actually found more shocking was further down in the story.

after hitting his 715th home run, barry bonds proceeded to leap out of san francisco's home stadium and smash all that he could see. bonds smash. don't nobody talk to bonds. bonds just want to smash. i couldn't believe that any AP reporter had the nerve to get near him for comment. the bastard smells a pulitzer.

—the bastard

4 comments:

The Mad Russian said...

Now that's funny....but stop picking on my boy

bastard central said...

i calls em the way i sees em. it does eg the question of could bonds do this feat without the juice? we'll never know. bonds smash

mofo said...

How about McGwire, he has gone unscathed throughout all of this simply because he retired? How about baseball, they get a pass for letting thisd happen? And once and for all with no testing in place how could it be cheating if every single member of every single baseball team from Rookie ball to the Major Leagues had access to steriods and were free to use them, maybe even encouraged as some would have you believe (RIP Ken Camminiti).
Some people are trying to soil Bonds because they don't want another "nigger" over Ruth's name. Some because Bonds has always been trunculant with the public and media so why should he be paraded around. The Yankees would never acknowledge the feat cause Ruth is one of their guys, and Ruth's grandkids know every name above the Babe's is one less dollar in their pocket.
What nobody will tell is that pitching was lightyears behind hitting back in the 20's and the 30's and it is considered a live ball era. Starters would routinely pitch a nine inning game and be out two days later pitching again, with a repetoire of two pitches (if they were lucky) and no scouting reports except if they could remember the way they pitched to that guy the last time. The mound was shorter (to the hitter's advatage) and no ever really thought of hitting for the fences until Ruth came along. You want to say Ruth changed the face of the game, go ahead, I'll get behind that statement, here's more Elvis to baseball then Elvis ever was to Rock and Roll, but if you really want to honor someone, how about Josh Gibson, Jackie Robinson's Negro League teammate whoi hit over 800 home runs, or Hank Aaron who bested Ruth with 755, in a dead ball era when the mound was at it's highest in the history of the professional game (to the pitcher's advantage) and guys like Koufax, Gibson and Marichal among many others roamed the mounds, the likes of which were umatched before and unmatched today with the exception of Roger Clemens. Not to mention before his enrty into the majors, Aaron his a few in the Negro Leagues that don't count as part of the 755.
Bods is number two on the list, give hios due, end of story.

bastard central said...

you totally let out the fact that i got more hits than sadaharu oh. baseball actually should be ashamed of itself

now bonds smash puny mullet headed retired cardinal.