Tuesday, June 06, 2006

reason 258 why the bastard loves his ipod

so there i was, sleeping the sleep of the damned on the railroad when the bastard get rousted at forest hills stop. the old hood. soon to be my hood again but, that's another story for another time. anyway, rousty sits down next to me and she gets settled and i decide i'm going to IM high school to ask how her bbq went last week and rousty starts singing to herself. so, very demonstratively, i takes out the bastard pod. i unroll the headphones in the most obvious manner possible and put it on and proceed to blast gomez through my ears. she starts miss thinging her head around and i keep the magic coming. what's the moral of the story? well it's twofold my lovelies. firstly, always keep some kind of white noise handy to drown out society. and secondly, my dear, no matter how good you think your singing voice is, i can guarantee you that NO ONE wants to hear you singing during their commute. it's rude. please think twice about how excited you are about jesus and keep it inside. that's why they call it an inner voice.

—the bastard

7 comments:

mofo said...

Jesus wouldn't sing during rush hour.

bastard central said...

jesus would walk across the east river to get back to the outer boroughs

mofo said...

No he wouldn't walk on water anymore not after those messiah-hacks David Blaine and Cris Angel can levitate. Jesus doesn't do passe.

bastard central said...

i really can't see the son of man taking the e train home

Rob S. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rob S. said...

Man, I remember being on the LIRR with this old asian guy warbling "Leavin' on a Jet plane" over and over... until he got to "Time in a Bottle."

bastard central said...

i remember that story. CLASSIC

—b