Sunday, July 02, 2006

...on signals

Invisible airwaves
Crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle
With the energy
Emotional feedback
On a timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price ---
Almost free...


my father, the shrink is a big fan of shortwave radio. it gives him something exotic for free. it's the same reason why he will buy a vhf rabbit ears that will help align the planets. he doesn't have to pay for cable and he gets public television that airs on cable without the benefit of a rabbit ears. but anyway back to the short wave. the shrink liked short wave because it would enable him to listen to radio one from the bbc in the privacy of his own home here in craptastic queens. the bastard prefers to get on a plane and fly to great britain to here bbc scotland (those jokers do the worst renditions of ther scooby doo theme). anyway, the old man would run upstairs after dinner to turn on the short wave and catch the bbc or radio free europe or some other crap. made you wonder if he actually wanted to spend time with his kids but it was later explained to me by him as a matter of planetary conditions. you see, as the sun goes down, apparently radio waves bounce off of the ionisphere more efficiently so dad would blow off hanging out with his children to get the best signals.

i didn't think about that much until i was taking this picture. you see, the bastard lost his cell signal the minute we entered adirondack state park. it's off the grid. way the hell off the grid and there are NO signals. perfect for rayne o'brian who would actually have work coming through on his crackberry otherwise. but, i woke up on saturday morning with a voicemail message and i didn't know why. i had no signal. maybe i got the message before we got into the park and i just didn't realize it. anyway, i'm taking this picture on the back og the island and suddenly, the phone begins to vibrate that i have text messages. on this one rock on the island at sundown, i have a signal. no where else in the vicinity is there a signal. it's dusk and i figure it's the ionisphere. whouda thunk? so i did what any other techno weenie would have done. i answered my text messages and stuck around there to see if anyone would write back. signal wasn't there the next morning. go fig. stupid atmosphere, be less tech friendly.

—the bastard

2 comments:

mofo said...

That radio was a godsend, I had been trying to figure out how to avoid him for years!

bastard central said...

i'm inclined to agree. he doesn't rock it nearly as much as he used to and theirin lies the problem