Sunday, September 24, 2006

the drop

...or on procrastinating

so i've been taking my time repairing the starter. i've known about this problem since i moved back in. the solenoid is bad so when i go a distance, the block heats up, and when i arrive at my destination, she won't start again until the block cools off. so this morning (afternoon) i went over to the rents to get my check for doing the devil's work for the artist. after my mom keeping my up to date with television programs that i won't be watching anytime soon, i turn the key and no start. so here's a handy five step to start your car when the starter is busted (manual transmission required).

1. turn the key into the "on" position

2. roll your car backwards to give yourself a little runway.

3. start pushing your car forward so that it moves and jump into it action hero style.

4. put the transmission in first and pull up the clutch while pushing the key into the ignition position. you will feel a slight jerk in the car as the transmission catches.

5. roll out of there like the mack you are. i'm surprised it worked on a car as (not that a '96 saturn could be considerred "new")

so the next time you're in a bind and your starter is out, well you get the idea, jerk.

—the bastard

P.S. as an extra bonus, here's how to do the moonwalk

2 comments:

mofo said...

Best part about the moonwalk diagram is that "Whoo!" Good stuff.

bastard central said...

i actually like the specific instruction:

"unleash the motherfuckin' moonwalk"