Wednesday, September 06, 2006

...on doing your business

so the bastard doesn't like talking about doing his business. but, i walk into my "office" to do my "business" when someone asks from the other stall,

"hey man, do you have a spare roll of toilet paper overe there? the roll over here is soaking wet"

so the bastard does his rate best to give him a goddam roll so i can put this unpleasant incident behind me (HAH. behind GET IT?! ahhhh, go to hell) but it doesn't stop there,

"thanks man, i don't know how the roll over here got all soaking wet man. thanks"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" the bastard is now sufficiently creeped out. carry on. GO ON! carry on.

—the bastard

11 comments:

dm said...

idiots idiots everywhere. There has got to be a way to make them be gone.

Thanks for the tips, I'm liking the pushing a guy backwards over a colegue. Mind you a hit mightn't be too bad... I work in the right part of town to hire someone.

Hmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't think too hard about this.

bastard central said...

very true but we have a saying over here, "shit floats". now while this man is a very good editor, he has no people skills.

i lean towrds the one that has the most comedic value every time. hired thugs are always a good thought to entertain but, the bastard entertains these thoughts so that i don't actually act on them. and besides hired thugs are, well, thugs and you should see this guy when he's on angel dust. not very pretty at all.

—b

mofo said...

It's all about the hit squad, a group of holier than thou individuals, like ourselves, to take matters in our own hands and rid the streets of such people. To allow a society to disregard the natural laws of common sense is unacceptable. Now this particular infraction doesn't seem to fall under that umbrella, however, consider this: common sense would allow that if shitting were a social activity, there would be no partitions between toilets. In fact the only places I know where there are no partitions are in the armed forces and jail, where the laws of common sense are suspended.

dm said...

hmm I can imagine. Oh well I guess I'll go with being just a general anoiance and driving him away. The bitch will come out of the closet for a short reign. Oh wait holidays coming soon I'll have to postpone it. And just look at my diary. Shit I've so much procrastination booked that I won't have time to do anything.

Anonymous said...

who is the mystery man?

bastard central said...

mofo,

of all of the spike lee films to bring up, you have to bring up the one with eric "soul glow" lasalle?

bastard central said...

oh, that's dm.

dm this is mo, mo, the dm.

bastard central said...

holidays eh, i think once i get some debt covered i should leave town for a couple few.

dm said...

hi ya. nice to meet ya mo.

mofo said...

Yeah, hi, likewise. That's "Drop Squad" and that wasn't a Spike Lee joint.

bastard central said...

oh right. spike was in it and was one of the producers. my bad