Monday, November 13, 2006

overheard on the subway

long day. shipping the magazine isn't quite as rough as it used to be but when something breaks down and hangs you up a little, you run a little late. fortunately it wasn't pissing out when the bastard left the office, even though it was pissing all day. i hit the 6 uptown and get off at 53rd bound for all points craptastic. and i'm walking behind these 3 college age kids. the tallest says to his friends, "yeah when i turn 22 i can be officially considered a cop. because i'm already irish and i'm an alcoholic". no my boy, you can be a cop at 22 because like anyone else with an opposable thumb, you can hold a pistol. now could you kindly point that pistol at your foot and pull the trigger? cause the way i see it, you may not be old enough to be a cop yet but, you are old enough to be a jack ass. keep up the good work, you dick.

—the bastard

4 comments:

mofo said...

That's like the kid that works for Soloman, the AC guy, who said to me Nemo and I one day—"I got my GED so when i turn 18 I can go to colleges"

"Colleges"

Damnation Mistress said...

Oh my there are some bright sparks in your country. Mind you I can talk, look at the average auzzie. Oh dear the planet is doomed to failure.

bastard central said...

you know what they say mo,

"him card read good" or perhaps the other great simpsons quote, "me fail english, that's unpossible" ahhh, that ralphie wiggum, pure gold.

dm, i think that all the time. the bastard was thinking of retiring to galway and just keeping his head down until the tomfoolery stops

mofo said...

Hey dm, the most prevailing wisdom is that outside of the US that's how you view us anyway. The sad fact is that it is a correct view. I find myself surronded by stupid people, and it's getting more and more claustraphobic.

I actually use the term unpossible, I believe it's like saying impossible with super powers, like: "that dude's trick was so impossible it was unpossible" And for the record I coined the term before Ralph, i used to say it high school all the time, and used it in my column in The TORCH, although Judy Bernstien used to give me dirty looks when I would slip the gem in.