...on transubstantiation

"you know, that was good but i'm not eating there again for a long time."

"that's why i didn't want to get the pie. she was pissed"

"well she screwed up the order"

"very passive aggressive"

"what the hell is a resurrection biscuit?"

"dude you have got to take a picture of that"

"i hear ya"

"is that what they call it?"

"no they call it a wafer. they probably have a point that refers back to it. you know, they were probably thinking, resurrection nuggets, like nuggets of info but, it might have sounded dumb to them so they opted for biscuits because it sounded less dopey. you have to think like a protestant with these things. how do i make the message go with the title so it sticks"

"the mcrib of christ"

"there you go"

"why can't the body of christ come in more flavorful treats? like the cheesesteak of christ"

"it would make the word of the lord go down a little easier"

"i would prefer to have that with the cheesefries of judas. i'm so going to hell for that one"

—the bastard