Friday, June 22, 2007

where's jonny airplanes? special bonus 3 pack edition

...or on the old shell game

...or on the triangle trade


so the bastard was logging some time down at the croxley last night at the bequest of jonny airplanes. actually it was so we could have a pre birthday drink with the mofo but the mofo never calls me to make plans. i always hear about them third party like. like in this case. jonny airplanes calls the bastard and tells me that we're drinking with the mofo and so it goes.upon reaching the bar the mofo asks me if i've heard from jon. he was supposed to be here at eight.

"he told me to be here for nine. he got off work at eight"

"jesus, i have to work tomorrow" you see, the mofo gets up every day at 5:30 to go down to the tub that used to be a mass grave, that used to be the world trade center.

airplanes arrives and 1 drink in he informs me that i haven't been keeping up with my "where's jonny airplanes" feature that i started earlier this month and he was right. the bastard hasn't been keeping up with all things bastardly. so i called my work voicemail so that i could remind myself. jon asked if he could do the legwork. it goes as follows (along with handy diagram to follow):



"bastard, to set you up with the jonny airplanes catchup you already wrote that i was in virginia, then i flew to cleveland, you tracked it. then back to virginia, then to new york then back to virginia and now i'm back in new york. and by the time you write this shit, i will have gone back to virgina and then i'll be back in new york. then i'll fly back to virginia again and then i'll be back in new york again on the 21st. and there you have it."

"cold war kids, cold war kids, cold war kids, cold war kids and the brakes have a new album out but they're called brakesbrakesbrakes now", says the mofo

"so to clarify i was in virginia, then i flew to cleveland, then back to virginia, then to new york then back to virginia and now i'm back in new york. then, i will go back to virgina and then i'll be back in new york. then i'll fly back to virginia again and then i'll be back in new york again on the 21st. and there you have it."

there you have it indeed.

—the bastard

5 comments:

mofo said...

the mofo didn'tcall because my plans were actually with to old friends from tower who I normally meet on Thursday, I told Jon to come by cause he was in town and he was my ride home.

mofo said...

and by the way I'm on the bus by 5:30, I'm up at 4:30.

bastard central said...

look, i'm just paraphrasing here. the bastard couldn't even make out most of the goddam voice mail. no need to get all truth patrol on me

mofo said...

If you're going to tell a story with me involved I demand facts

bastard central said...

now i just gotta tell tale tales.

"did the bastard ever tell you about the mofo's big blue ox named "shiteyes"