Tuesday, October 02, 2007

the devil went down to...jersey?

the hockey fan never had that much luck with the ladies.

i mean he had luck with the ladies insomuch as he's been able to get a date on a pretty regular basis but he never had that luck for very long.

one girl cheated on him or at least he found out that she cheated on him after they broke up. cheated on him with practically the whole neighborhood.

the girl he left her for started dating another guy a year into dating him. totally wrecked his christmas. the bastard took him on a long bender across the thorough borough that week. while the bastard understands the breakup process, sometimes, you have to drink your troubles away.

anyway he dated a drummer for a while but that wasn't really love for the hockey fan.

then he met the girl from brazil. and he thought he had it. until she wanted something else and he was left holding the bag. as the author antoine de saint-exupéry once said, love is not looking at easch other, love is looking in the same direction.

then he fell in love with ebay for a while and that worked out for him for a while until he had had his fill of signed wayne gretsky jerseys then he had to find himself an actual lady.

then he was with someone who lied to him. and he didn't like that very much.

then he met her. the one. and they were so happy. hell, the bastard takes pause and is happy for him too.

last weekend, the bastard went to their wedding and it was in south jersey. because the only thing they love more than each other, is the goddam beach. so they were married on it. in south jersey. now the bastard has driven through south jersey but, he's never stopped. never had a reason to stop.

it's kind of like the midwest.

with a beach.

and that's okay and all but then we get stuff like this.

i took this with my trusty piece of the area 51 flying saucer. now the video is totally for shit but this character's voice is golden. short description is, we have this enormously tall drunk guy with a big black cowboy hat singing the devil went down to georgia. it was gold. i saw the shot and i took it. and i'm glad i did. i'm also glad i went. the hockey fan deserves a little happiness.

—the bastard


Rob S. said...

Now the devil bowed his head because he knew he'd never heard anyone even manage to talk off-key before.

And he laid that golden microphone on the ground at johnny's feet.

Johnny said "Devil just come on---uuuRRRRPPPPP!'"

bastard central said...

well played lobster. well played