...on bikes

...and not the really cool ones i just spent the summer getting the license for.

while looking for articles about congestion pricing, the bastard came across this little gem about bicyclists.

Bicyclist rallied in Manhattan Wednesday to call for safer riding conditions for bicyclists throughout the city.

Supporters are calling attention to the need for safer bike lanes, especially in areas with heavy traffic.

now the bastard has gone on before about bicyclists. let me preface this by saying, i feel bad when someone on a bike gets hit by a car, gets killed and all that. no one should have to bury their son or daughter because of the negligence of an automobile but.

bicyclists are self righteous fucks. they believe that the road is theirs by divine right of kingship because their mode of transportation is more environmentally responsible means of getting around. your car is bad. their bike is good and what's more, we don't have to obey the laws. when was the last time you, as a bicyclist, stopped at a traffic light? signalled while turning? wore a fucking helmet? stopped for pedestrians? yes, yes, i know, cars don't see you. i heard that one. yes yes yes, it's all part of lifes rich tapestry.

either way, the bastard has some simple solutions to the problem with safety for bicyclists. follow these easy to follow instrucyions and the bastard GUARANTEES that bicycle related deaths will ratchet down.

signal when turning

follow the traffic laws. stop signs, traffic lights, one way signs included. you are a vehicle for chrissakes.

do NOT (this is for the bike messengers out there) zoom across 3 lanes of traffic to get to your destination. if you need to, signal

where a helmet and other protective gear. helmets are the damn law kiddies and motorcyclist have a fuck ton of gear designed to keep THEM from dying. there's money to be made in the design of economical protective gear for bicyclists (cha-ching).

and finally, use your effing brakes. or if you are a bike messenger, do not remove your brakes to reduce air drag or whyever you guys do that.

you see, short list. put it on an index card and tape it to your wrist. i guarantee you'll do less dying and pedestrians will have less disdain for you.

—the bastard