Monday, May 05, 2008

things the bastard discovered on a sunday

well, the bastard spent his sunday painting stuff in my ladyfriend's apartment.

also, we went down to that horrendous trdae joes on 14th street.

when all was finished, we put a second coat on and my ladyfriend said that this called for a treat.

so we went to pinkberry.

pinkberry as you may or may not know is swirly goodness.

or it's frozen yogurt reinvented to create an experience that indulges the senses. christ the bastard loves marketing hacks.

or it's just a trendy frozen yogurt place where both otaku kids and sweatpants wearing jewish american princesses can congregate and listen to loud blaring techno and sit on knockoffs of philippe starck's ghost chair. or maybe they are the real deal.

the bastard doesn't know. but the shit sure is tasty. so go to hell.

but upon my second visit i realize the murray hill j.a.p.s have a uniform.

first and foremost, you must have large aviator shades on. because while god slept on the seventh day, the day afte that, he sure as shit didn't want you to bother to put on makeup.

and secondly, you must must must wear sweatpants related outfits. the baggier the better. the last thing you want to do is attract a mate while asking for carob chips on your green tea flavored frozen treat.

and despite, the above diagram, the "christ what an asshole" grin, is purely optional. so enjoy your frozen yogurt jackass. ENJOY!

—the bastard

1 comment:

P-Cat said...

It's scary that Murray Hill princesses have co-opted the Staten Island baggy sweatpants uniform that made that island so awful.