hey lady from the baby magazine people...
1: pay attention to where you are swinging that bag. you would be totally indignant if the same thing happened to you. it's an office, not a fucking roller derby arena.
2: stop yelling on your phone in the elevator.
3: why are you so goddam intense about buying your kid a tennis racket?
4: shut up!
5: go directly to hell.
thank you for playing. it's too bloody early for this. i know it isn't really, but it is.
—the bastard
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