sideward glances…

6 train…

my game…

same old same. 

it's astounding how no matter how many times gothamist posts the rules for subway etiquette, no one gets better at riding the train. 

so as I get in the crowded by the doors part of the car I see, that 20 inches past the door is the great empty…

so I excuse myself and here the tell tale teeth suck of thug life. 

the kind of thug life that inhabits the high school a Ross the street from the bastard's office. 

flashback: I'm trucking in from forest hills… 

same train doorway scenario…

"please step into the car so I can step in"

nothing

"PLEASE STEP INTO THE CAR", and I push in…

hard

"yo, I'll fucking cut choo", says a 14 year old girl

the bastard smiles in his trench coat and sunglasses and growls…

"I'd really like to see that"

she shuts up. 

now:

so thug life teeth sucks and throws his arms back as if to stop me…

but an irresistible force will not stop…

he tries to wrest my bag but my arm goes up and some poor Indian lady collects 5 pounds of anodized aluminum into her back. 

rule  573 of subway etiquette: step into the fucking car stupid. I sleep soundly on this

I get into the big empty and turn around. 

rule 731 of being a bastard: never turn your back to an asshole… you can't see what he's doing

thugs give me the sideward glance…

then looks at his girl who was looking at me the whole time. 

she slowly shakes her head "no". 

then it's over. 

I go to work…

and thug life goes to one of the bottom 10 schools in NYC for his last 17 days in the system before he goes back for summer school. 

yeah…

I'd like fries with that… thug 

yes

yes

y'all

—the bastard