take a good look… this could be the last

'don't stay up too late'

'ok'

'no… you'll end up watching that documentary and the watch something else'

'I'm done watching pearl jam for the evening'

'why it's fun to watch?'

she wasn't wrong…

as I sit in the dark hacking up a lung in my living room…

i just don't want to be reminded of how old I'm getting tonight. 

I'm still kind of shitwards about Lou Reed passing…

and the fact hat a year ago, the face of this city was very different…

and that next Tuesday, he face will change again. 

actually… that's not entirely true…

bill de Blasio won't be sworn in until January 1st but it does represent a sea change in my city. 

but I'm getting off the rails here. 

watching a 3 hour documentary on pearl jam and knowing most of the words makes me sort of ambivalent about my age. 

mostly because I don't have the vocal range I used to have when I'm sick…

and it annoys me. 

also, I needed some escapism in the form of lowbrow tv right about now…

so i figured I'd scratch this down beforehand. 

—the bastard