Wednesday, August 10, 2005

conversations on the subway

warning, i'm gonna curse alot now. so hide the kids.

so i head out of work to get on the old number 6 which i like to call the fridge because i can't wait to get on it during this time of year it's so cold and a homeless man gets on. i've seen this guy before but i've never been close to him before. the speech runs as follows:

"good evening, i'd like to take some of your time
(focus on take) tonight to talk with you. you see, i am homeless, and a veteran, and the only benefits i receive are from you kind people (which is red flag number one for me, all vets have some benefits of some sort no matter how much they suck). so if you have any food or cigarettes to help me get through the day it would be much apprecated. thank you and god bless you (they always reel the christians in with that one).

so as a matter of principal i tend to over analyze said homeless person's story and pass on donating. i generally don't donate to random homeless folks ever (at least monetarily) since the one guy the nice lady and i offered a slice of pizza to and he declined because he wanted a beer (so i got him a beer. what can i say, i was in a good mood that night. the nice lady brings that out in me). but as he brushed by me he said clearly near me, "you know it's a good thing that i don't pick pockets anymore because you leave your shit wide open, alot of you do".

now cue answer brain had but did not use to avoid public violence:

"why don't you go to hell you frikkin' skell. I'm lucky? I"M LUCKY? no no no shiteyes, it is you that is lucky that we live in a rational society that keeps me from acting on the urge to stab you in the fucking neck and breaking the blade off. it isn't my fault that instead of trying to make something of yourself, you crawled into a bottle, or a crack pipe or both. maybe you did lose your job, don't you have friends to help you out? were you too damn proud to take that job at macdonalds to get by at the time. when i was out of work my wife was ready to take a damn night shift job at the home depot until we got back on our feet and fortunately we did in quick stead. but everyone's not always that lucky. sometimes we have to do shit that we don't want to and maybe you should have. oh and so sorry about the whole bleeding neck, could somebody call a doctor?"

just trying to blow off some steam. i really do feel (felt) for the homeless but, since that night when the guy wanted beer instead of a leg up (or a pizza up) i have had mixed feelings about it. i know from friends that are in the program that addiction is a very real thing but, the ownness id on you to pull yourself out. ida know, shut up.

—the bastard

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