Monday, April 03, 2006


...or on reader submissions

"robbo wants to speak with you"

"sup robbo?"

"you gotta do something about the blog"


"i can't read about your commute anymore, it's driving me crazy"

"i'm sorry"

"you gotta go back to writing about politics"

"i retired from politics robbo."

"you gotta go back to writing about politics. write something about the immigration protests."

"i'll see what i can do"

now the bastard retired from politics after the election in 2004. i'm tired of having a multifaceted set of political beliefs that i have to constantly defend because of the party i registered under. everytime i say the fucking "R" word in mixed company i have to listen to some chucklehead give me horseshit about how they can't believe i'm one of them and how fucked up all of those crazy christians are. i'm tired of it. i try to keep it to myself these days. i don't subscribe to an organized religion. god and i barely speak. and if the last couple of years have taught me anything, it's that americans treat the two party system like the rivalry between the new york rangers and the philadelphia flyers and i want no part of it anymore. if you want i can give you a list of what the bastard is for and against another time.

anyway, trying my best to honor robbo's request, i go monstering. deep digging on the last few days worth of whatnot over immigration reform and i realize aside form the fact that i keep coming across stories about the misadventures of a batshit crazy, gerrymandering congresswomen from georgia pissing me off to no end, i have very mixed feelings about the immigration debate. now i can tell you that there is an organization called MECha that maintains the belief that everything from oklahoma west to the pacific is called Aztlan (no not the lion from the c.s. lewis book) and that we should get the hell out because it belongs to the aztecs and since they are no longer an actual civilization anymore, them. no doubt, we should leave las vegas behind because i would imagine that americans leaving their homes in the west where they have been for generations would totally NOT play out like that scene in the last episode of little house on the prairie in which they blow up walnut grove while singing bringing in the sheaves. not at all.

anyway, the bastard took it up with left hand rob this morning. we discussed a variety of positions on the matter and i realized that i could monster my until i don't sleep for a week and i WILL actually piss myself off to the point of heart sickness (you see there is a sickness in the bastard's heart but that's another story) and i will never really be qualified to opine on this shit. so i have to apologize robbo, i can't do it. it's not fair to stick my neck out for something i can't 100 percent believe in or against. left hand rob wrote a book about illegal aliens and you can buy it on amazon if you'd like. i'd now like to take a page from edward r. murrow and say good night, and go to hell with that, i retired from politics

—the bastard


mofo said...

I'd write more about politics but everytime I do, I'm shouted down as a comunist.

When you register as a republican you have to take on the responsibility for a ll of the other facists in your party, even if they are wet-look nuts. You should have registered independent, this way no one can say a dag-gonned thing.

This whole immigration thing is an paradoxial dilemma, it's the pot calling the kettle black--free trade, but stay on your side of the ghetto. It's a downside to capitalism, people are inherently greedy, so when they can hire cheap labor, they do so.
I wonder what the three remaining full blooded Native Americans on the planet feel about all this huullabaloo--oh, that's right, there too drunk to care.

bastard central said...

i don't recall calling you a communist outright. i just allude to it.

i call bullshit on the taking responsibility tip though. that's llike saying every german citizen is responsible for what hitler did. things just aren't that black and white. if i registered independant i wouldn't do it to hise my feelings on shit. look, i didn't drop science in this post to climb up onto a cross or anything. i just brought it up to illustrate why i retired from discussing politics. it's less about the crazy christians and more about the rangers/flyers thing. i was in a bar last week and had something happen that caused me to segue out of the discussion because drunkyland is the worst kind of land to discuss politics.

anyway lobster johnson linked to this really interesting bit on the crisis at hand in the washington post. and yes, the bastard is linking to the washington post.

maybe those three full blooded members can take up a conversation with kennewick man who looks like patrick stewart and preceeds native americans as we know them by at least 10,000 years. maybe the indians had it right. this land belongs to no one. we belong to the land

Anonymous said...

It's good to have you boys back.

mofo said...

Well, you took my dig at modern christianity and turned into a diatribe on Pearl jam, I had to respond in kind.

It's like we say on the trail, "Forever Wild, bitch, Forever Wild."

bastard central said...

and this is why the other hikers wonder whether the asylum has loosed itself on the red dot trail.