you know there's nothing better than getting one of those seats that has allotted space for the handicapped because you get some leg room. even if someone stands in the space. even this big fella when he stood in the space. didn't harsh my seat but i did make the guy next to me uncomfortable. he barely cracked his copy of running with scissors because i think he wanted to stab me with scissors for sitting down next to him. it never ceases to amaze me how righteously affronted commuters on the lirr (ok i've softened up. merry the fan doesn't like it when i lay into long islanders as hard as i do) get when you sit down next to them. like no one else was ever going to.anyway so nacho libre is standing in the space across from me and he's fumbling between his cigarettes and his cell phone and his other cell...phone? oh well i guess one for work and one for home or one for me to shove down his throat and one for me to shove right up his. well you get the idea. so nacho's a little big around the waist, he obviously trucked hard to get here because he's a sweaty betty and then he goes into his calls
"yea i left early. because. cuzididentwannagethome laaaaaaayte. canumeetmeatthu stashunnnnnn? cuz. cuz. cuz i donwanacarrymahbaaaaaaagggs. they're heavy"
he only has one bag for your information. i really wanted to hear how this story ended but i was getting distracted. END OF PART ONE
—the bastard
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