Wednesday, September 20, 2006

...on the grid

...or is it off the grid

so the bastard is taking a nap one saturday (reoccuring sleep theme, it's karaoke night next door) a couple weeks ago, and the phone rings. it rings righ tat that magic moment when you are aware that you are about to go under. i wonder if dying id like this. you know? no i don't wonder if dying is like this, i have more important things to worry about. anyway, phone rings. bastard gets the shake up. i make it to the answerring machine in time to find that it's a hangup. i go back to sleep and that moment never comes again. time to kill the land line.

yeah, i know what you're thinking, "hey bas, what if another september 11th like incident happens again? how will you get in touch with your loved ones." well i'll tell you how. same way i did 5 years ago. with instant messenger. i did the blackout of 2003 with my bosses cell phone and it took forever to connect with someone and it didn't matter that i had a lad line then. so it's gone. the only people that call it are the landlord, my father and a buttload of telemarketers. so it's out. goodbye to all that. stupid thing is, i haven't felt like taking a nap in weeks. dammit! oh, karaoke's stopped. time for sleep. goodnight jerks!

—the bastard

8 comments:

Damnation Mistress said...

i never saw the point in a land line anyway. only time i'm home is when i'm sleeping or avoiding strange ppl.

bastard central said...

well, i haven't had a cell for very long in the grand scheme of things. i've always found america lags behind in adopting a lot of technology. mine was an affordability issue. and my professional position affords me the ability to subsidize the cell which is nice

Rob S. said...

We don't call them "cells". We call them "cubicles".

Damnation Mistress said...

thats just the bureaucrats way of making us feel better about the fact that "cells" are bigger than "cubicles".

bastard central said...

riiiight. i was talking about my phone, sillys. and i do believe that my cubicle is about the size of a cell. however my phone is smaller

Damnation Mistress said...

hey if the phone was bigger than your cubicle I'd be wanting it to have a built in car or something. Hmmm should contact nokia and see if they want to make a phone that 'plays mp3, picks up radio, takes pictures, makes home movies, connects to the net, send sms and mms, makes calls and video calls, includes a two-way AND... drives you to work. They're almost there anyway all they gotta add is the car attachment.

God its not even friday and the insanity is setting in.

bastard central said...

i'm just trying to picture riding in a candy bar phone all the way to work. but then again, how the hell can i get that on the subway. but to add on to the idea, maybe it should have a coffee maker too

—b

mofo said...

A car that fits your pocket-book.