the end of the world as we know it

Other than the fact that the newest in a long line of retread-pixar-esque animated films is about the life of bacteria in a bathroom, (oscar time people), there is a new sign of the apocolypse upon us. Bob Barker is retiring at the ripe old age of 83 from hosting "The Price is Right."

Say what you will about Bob. Joke about his age, his cameo in "Happy Gilmore", the sexual misconduct, what have you, but never, and i mean never put down the "Price is Right," and the part he played on it. It is the greatest game show ever and he, in turn the greatest host.

I have watched Bob do his thing since my early days, and his, when he had dark hair. Then after I was forced to be educated and sent to elementary school, i was seperated from the show, but still longed for the summers when I would stop what I was doing at 11 am and watch the pricing games, playing along, honing my skills, becasuse one day, you never know, I could end up on the show. Through junior high and high school caught glimpses when I could. When I was hospitalized and recovering from Luekemia and chemotherapy "The Price is Right" was part of the morning triumphirate that included "Fantasy Island" at 9am, "The Love Boat" at 10 (I've seen every episode, even the lame reunion movies and can sometimes be heard singing the theme song made eternal by jack Jones, however, my spoken word version is wuite good) and the "The Price is Right" at 11. In college I scheduled classes, newspaper business and Spades tournaments around it. At the US Open it became a fixture, once the TVs were installed, even putting a halt to hacky-sack and balle. It is an old friend, Bob Barker included, comforting, entertaining and yes, even intellectually stimulating (on several occasions I have guessed with $100 of a showcase, thereby winning both). I actually wrote a scene for a screenplay I have worked on and off for 10 years that took place during a taping of the show. All that will be over in June, when Bob hangs up his mic for good.

So I have until then to make my way to Television City and make my way to the "Price is Right" studio and make my bid, literally, i've always thought of it as one of those things i wanted to get to before it was too late. Well, time's a wastin'. If things go the way they should with the chairman's work, and i can find my way out of purgatory I will sandwhich that stop between 'Zona to see the boy and the pacific coast highway. But until then, here's to you Bob, a job well done.

mofo

E.A.A.—Trick or Treat motherfuckers!