the email went around last month asking if anyone wanted to go see mastadon. i had never heard nor heard of mastadon up until january. chicago jerkface described them as old school epic heavy metal. so the bastard went in. so did the k. unfortunately, the k couldn't come out last night. you see, he's a werewolf. to more more precise he has what is known as porphria. which is a disorder that accounts for a great deal of the lore associated with lycanthropy. in essence, it mucks with his stomach and he's kind of paralyzed for a day or two. it really sucks for him. i i feel bad for him. however, ready to take that golden ticket, was my good friend stevus christus.
the bastard has to say that hipsters make better behaved metalheads than i remember metalheads being from when i was youngerl. jerkface came out of the pit at the end of the show saying, "i think i got caught in the pit"
"you think?"
"yeah, it wasn't so bad"
so i have to give kudos to those lithe looking fashion forward thick framed glasses wearing jerkpieces for making the show a genuine pleasure. last nights winner for best tee shirt was the little samoan guy wearing the misfits legacy of brutaility t-shirt and the loser of the selfsame contest was the girl wearing the dream theatre cut off. and the biggest loser of the evening had to be the dumpy bleach blond who had the words bombshell tattoed across her chest. well she was a bomb something else perhaps but, definately NOT a bombshell.
—the bastard
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