Tuesday, September 18, 2007

...on the living dead

so the other night, rather than house cleaning, the bastard was watching the second resident evil movie. nah, i didn't see the first one. i figure you can just dive into crap like this. it's a hack zombie movie based on a video game, what am i going to miss in the plot? at some point i had a zombie movie problem arise. there was this teacher who is going through a school house to find her kids and, to her horror, have all become zombies.

then they eat her.

and they either were really not good at eating people or they were just taking their time because she seemed to scream for a good long time. i mean why didn't they just go for the throat and stop all of that noise?

anyway the bastard starts wondering why did all of those zombies wait for their teacher to show up when they could have killed just as much time eating each other?

i mean why do zombies only eat the living?

it's not like they can think or anything. they're ZOMBIES.

FLASH FORWARD: so this afternoon puzzled by this, the bastard asks left hand rob about this zombie dilemma and he ponders and we decide to ask the k about it. and the k says this:

"zombies only eat the living because they are dead and thus not appetizing"

"but how would they know?"

"ahh," says left hand rob, "living flesh is warm zombie flesh is cold. it's just like how it is with brains"

makes sense to me. stupid zombies.

—the bastard


Nightcrawler0218 said...

When I saw "Return of the Living Dead (When the Dead Come Back to Party)", Speaking Zombie said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that zombies eat brains to ease the pain of their own decomposition.

If the brain is dead, hence the body being dead, I guess it's of no use.

Just Sayin'.


bastard central said...

if you say so

Rob S. said...

Happiness is a plate of warm brains.

Rob S. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.