...on the longest slice ever

...in which the bastard lays into a local favorite.

sometimes, ok, well most times, on the weekend, the bastard goes out to lunch with the chairman.

and most of the time, it's not exactly walking distance. so i hop into the magical jeep and he asks,

"whatcha eatin?"

and i felt like pizza, so i said "dee's"

so he says okay and instead we head to nick's. now nick's is a very good pizza place but i was thinking dee's because it was closer.

but we went to nick's.

at 3 in the afternoon.

and it was crowded. but not crowded because there was too many people. because the staff is kind of...

well...

lazy.

at this point, as the crowd is en massing, the bastard is being pushed into the eating area which prompted a bunch of young investment banker types to switch from speaking in english to saying "excuse me" as i am WAY too close to their dining experience and iphone/penis comparisons, to speaking in russian. i would imagine about how annoying it is to have my trenchcoat in their lunch.

in retrospect, it might be better this way insomuch as, if i had to listen to them talk about me in the third person in english might have prompted me to punch the poor sap in the face.

and that would have ruined lunch.

but it did prompt the chairman and i to speak at length about how this place might well have to get it's act together if equivalent competition moved in close by. i mean that's the thing both nick's and dee's are in pretty remote locations on their respective blocks on opposite sides of the fhills. hell, opposite sides of the tracks. but, the fact of the matter was, we had to bus our own table and the jackass had the nerve to make a joke about it. it was annoying. and the bastard was hungry. and while the pizza was good (really good actually), it ain't that good that i'm willing to put up with it often.

at least when i go to dee's in the afternoon, the place ain't crowded. oh well, go to hell.

—the bastard