Thursday, April 04, 2013

batting a thousand...

...never get into fights in your neighborhood. it looks bad in front of the neighbors

—the bastard

the bastard is batting a thousand this week with train travel

monday: fracas with frenchie over blocking the door

tuesday: i end up having a sit in on some german tourists backpack  because he doesn't understand the take your frikkin bag off your back on a crowded subway train rule

wednesday: a very fat gentleman is blocking the door and isn't getting off of the train but decides to move to let people off. unfortunately he merely rotates 180 degrees in place actually making no room for passengers to get on or off the train thus prompting myself and sir edmund hillary to scale him to escape the 6 train

this morning: platform is crowded and as the 7 pulls in i start to filter in along with the natural order of things when people filter onto a crowded subway train in which people all block the door because their all getting off at grand central.

"ehhh cues you, yeh ehh cuse you"

i pay no mind to this whatnot as i'm in the flow of people. i'm sure i could stop and completely wreck the natural order of things but i keep going until a feel something crashing into the backs of my legs.

"ehhh cues you, yeh ehh cuse you"

not knowing what's scraping my leg, i foot sweep back to hit stroller wheels and this well spoken invidual who no doubt tok a stroll down my way from the queensbridge houses yells,

"hey wash out you", revealing that this small person was literally trying to shove her stroller up my ass along with her kid in it, on a crowded train platform.

who does that?

i know everyone wants to get where they're going buy you're putting your kid in danger by attacking people with the very vehicle you are supposed to be using to protect your child.

who does that?

so, ready to go, she's getting loud, perhaps figuring that fatty mcwhiteboy will just be sheepish and step on the train and she can feel she's gotten her two cents in

"stop shoving your babycarriage into my legs!", i boom, "what's wrong with you?"

and i step into the middle of the car where there's plenty of room. and there would have been plenty for all if people would just step into the car.

friday: i think i'm gonna stay in bed and hide from the subway. or perhaps take the ferry. nothing could happen to me there could it?

—the bastard

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