so last night i was coming out of the subway when i was greated by multiple cop cars. the bastard though, oh shit, they finally found me out. they found the bodies. i'm sunk. keep it cool baldy keep it cool. if you cover your eyes they can't see you. just another 2 steps and SUCCESS. i made it. i'm so glad my powers of invisibility still work on an overcast day. then when i got back to the place i realized that it wasn't me they were looking for, it was terrorists.
apparently in their unrelenting quest to overthrow the united states, al qaeda had the passing notion (which has since been downgraded to a "non credible" threat). to plant 19 bombs in the new york subway system. now yes yes, it is scary and i DO worry about these things but the bastard has really pressing stuff on his brain so i have seemed to ovesimplify things for myself.
when you think about it, when vietnam was fought, one argued that you need to win the hearts and minds of the people to win a war and NOTHING wins the hearts and minds of the people like blowing shit up on their commute to work. now the bastard knows that we're ALL cowardly and shit and that if they blow shit up then, america is just gonna tuck it's liddle ol tail between it's legs and go crying home to mama. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHH please mama please! the bad ol islamofascists blew up the fucking F train mama. puhleese can we all convert to islam. here's your burka." well i hate to be the bearer of bad news but, the downside to assymetrical warfare is that france rolling over for algeria withstanding, if you blow up shit in your perceived enemy's nation, you'll piss them off and they will retaliate (not the french though, they will bend over and let you have algeria). it didn't work for the irish did it? after nearly a century of blwoing british shit up what got the two factions to talk turkey? talking!! holy crap what a concept. so note to al qaeda, "guys this shit ain't gonna work. we found you in afghanistan and we mauled the place. you popped up in iraq, we mauled the place. i'm sure if we find you somewhere else, we will maul it. even if it might be astoria. yes the bastard is oversimplifying. yes the bastard sounds one sided but it is my want. if the internet has shown us anything, it's that every asshole has a voice and here is mine. wubba wubba wubba wubba boo! get back to bomb sniffing, shiteyes.